When the well-hung stage lights reflected off your hairless head, I felt my heart jump into your hands, and I knew that you’d be pulling my strings all night. I was flying solo so when the Cave Singers hit the stage, I danced my way over to you and even though I couldn’t see your eyes through your round glasses, I could tell that I was surrendering to a wild man. A norm-defying every man, a come-as-you-are man, a man who rides his own plane. Later you invited me to Denny’s and as we shared an all you can eat grand slam of pancake puppies and moons over my hammy, and laughed at the antics of your friend Chicken, I felt like I’d found my match. Since then, I keep thinking of your moustache, the way you helped me see it all, and I want to know you right down to your underwear and beyond. I can’t believe I didn’t get your number! Dial my banana phone, I’m dying to hear your mumblings once more!