"Am I just his beard?" asks a woeful girlfriend.

Another gal did a little snooping, and discovered that her man has a "happy endings map" of all the places he could visit that will add pleasure to his upcoming business trip. Should she freak?

Over on the Magnums, drag queens in hillbilly country, and an interview with Aaron Harzler, author of Rapture Practice, on how to deal lovingly with your nutjob, conservative Christian family.