This weekly column features community-minded Vancouverites that are making a difference at a grassroots level.

We’ve all heard (and probably lamented at) the age-old cliche that children don’t come with manuals. 

But for Andrea Lemire, creating resources for parents to better address the social and emotional skills of their young children is the next best thing.

As an educator and the entrepreneur behind WhenThenKids, a web-based education program that provides parents with access to the latest scientific research regarding early childhood development and learning, Lemire spends her days studying science-based parenting principles, and not only simplifies them for busy parents, but comes up with multiple ways for parents to implement them into their children’s lives.

“It’s the skills that help your child have a better chance at becoming strong, resilient, and confident,” Lemire tells the Straight over coffee at a bakery in Kitsilano.

“It teaches parents all of the the information in a way they can teach it to their kids, because I think parents are their kids’ best teachers.”

Lemire, who has an education in biopsychology and over a decade of experience in public and nonprofit organizations, says the idea to create WhenThen Kids was the result of a lifetime of interest in human behavior.

“I think I’ve always been really curious about people, and what makes people tick,” she says.

“That, combined with having friends and family that have dealt with drug addiction and other mental health challenges, has always made me wonder where these things come from, and how we might be able to help people and prevent them.”

Lemire spent a few years both locally and internationally as a youth worker at different community centres and agencies, focusing her energy on “the untapped potential” of the young people she worked with.

She even began a nonprofit in the Netherlands where she taught cross-cultural understanding, leadership and development skills, before returning to Vancouver.

“When I moved back here, I wanted to figure out what was going on earlier in children,” she says.

Lemire took a position as the executive director of the Society of Children and Youth B.C., and learned quickly of the developmental challenges facing some of the province’s youngest pupils.

“I learned that 32 percent of kids start Kindergarten developmentally unprepared, and biologically, it should be about seven to 10 percent,” Lemire explains, “so once they’re in school, sure, there’s a lot we can do, but they are already behind.

“This causes a problem for teachers, and for parents, and unfortunately we don’t have a system for early learning in this province,” she adds.

Lemire explains what we know about brain development is that the first five years of child’s life are the most critical, as the brain is “more plastic, and most ready to learn”.

Rather than focusing on teaching children single subjects, like math or language, Lemire says that emphasizing social and emotional skills earlier in life can contribute to a child’s better understanding of all aspects—including math and language.

“If you can improve the social and emotional skills, you improve everything. It helps with everything from concentration in the classroom, to getting along with others,” she says.

Lemire says that while most parents are concerned about these aspects of their children’s development, they’re often not sure where to look for the right information.

“Many get information from family, friends, and the internet, but the challenges with that information is that parents are not sure what’s opinion or fact, as the information often contradicts itself,” she says.

“Others have expressed that they’re not willing to test something out on their child and use them as a guinea pig. They want to know that something is real.”

Combining her expertise from years of education and experience with new knowledge that she gleans while attending conferences held by organizations including UBC’s Human Early Learning Partnership, and the Dalai Lama Centre for Heart and Mind, Lemire compares and compiles information from different models and frameworks, filling the gaps when certain topics aren’t covered with information from other resources, to create a more complete set of tools for parents.

Lemire breaks the resource up, starting with the science on a certain topic—say, anxiety—and then gives parents an opportunity to reflect on what they might already be doing to address that issue.

“Then I give them 10 different ways they can try with their child to tackle that,” she says, making it easier for parents to cater to the individual needs and learning styles of their children.

Lemire says simple changes in a parents’ behavior or language can often result in a shift in how their child might think of themselves.

Speaking to Carol Dweck’s concept of ‘growth mindset’, she says that using certain language, like adding the word ‘yet’ when a child’s declares that they can’t do something very well, teaches them that there is always room and time for improvement.

“One mom wrote in and said: ‘My child was saying, I’m not good at soccer, and I said to him, You can’t do it YET. And he understood, and said, Oh yeah, not yet!’

“It’s just that one word, and it changed his entire outlook,” Lemire says.

“When I get emails like that, I’m reminded of why I’m doing this.”

Lemire hopes to turn the resource into a smartphone app so that busy parents can access information on the go, and to help them connect with behavioral interventionists and clinical counsellors for those bigger questions.

For now, she’s concerned with reaching as many parents as possible—not just in Vancouver, but throughout the province, and in towns that might not have access to certain services or organizations.

When asked what makes her job worthwhile, a beaming Lemire says it’s seeing the research actually work on children.

“It’s this potential for helping people become strong and resilient. It means down the line, they’re less likely to be bullied, and they’re less likely to be physically or sexually assaulted, because they’re not afraid to stand up for themselves.

“When kids feel heard, when they feel understood, it builds incredibly strong bonds, and that’s going to nurture them for their whole lives.”

 Know someone doing important work in your community? Message Amanda Siebert here.