Starring Yuan Xiaochao, Qi Shu, Tony Leung Ka Fai. Rated PG.

No one can suggest there was nothing to work with in the frantic, disjointed, muddled mess that is Tai Chi Hero. Highlights include a kung fu–obsessed simpleton who periodically morphs into a Far East version of the Incredible Hulk, a beautiful faux dominatrix who treats her husband like a dog crossbred with a slave, and Victorian-era flying contraptions that would blow the mind of Baron Münchausen.

The rapid-fire editing will satisfy the most ADD-afflicted video-game addict, while hard-core steampunks will thrill to the enchanting ancient village in which the story is largely set.

Too bad director Stephen Fung is never sure what kind of film he’s making. One minute Tai Chi Hero wants to be more badass and pop-culture retro cool than The Man With the Iron Fists, setting action sequences to cancer-black Asian death metal and rolling out more split-screen scenes than a Shaw Brothers retrospective. The next, things are as syrupy as a Cantopop mix tape, including a rushed, out-of-nowhere ending entirely out of step with everything that’s come before. Throw in plenty of cartoonish buffoonery spiced up with half-baked commentary on the evils of encroaching western technology.

If you’re going to make a film in which a village-idiot gets the opportunity to master the secret art of “Chen-style kung fu”, you need an epic display or two of hand-to-hand combat. Tai Chi Hero, the middle part of a trilogy that started with 2012’s action-heavy Tai Chi Zero, is all convoluted back story and no payoff. We get a grand total of one extended battle sequence that—although visually pretty—is more about mid-fight ruminations on the spiritual nature of martial arts than fight-to-the-finish thrills. More ass-kicking please, less philosophizing.