Hot Pursuit is a mismatched mess

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      Starring Reese Witherspoon and Sofia Vergara. Rated PG. Now playing

      After watching Hot Pursuit, the lasting image you’re left with is of the towering Sofia Vergara striding away in her platform pumps, with the petite Reese Witherspoon running behind, yapping at her feet like a Chihuahua.

      It’s like the moviemakers decided their height discrepancy alone could drive a female-styled buddy flick. But there’s precious little else to Hot Pursuit. God knows formulas like this don’t need a storyline—The Heat with Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy had a pathetic excuse for a plot, but at least it had some big, fearless laughs.

      Hot Pursuit tries to play Vergara’s Latin sizzle off Witherspoon’s uptight, Tracy Flick type. Cue endless height jokes aimed at Witherspoon, boob jokes aimed at Vergara, and laboured slapstick. And does anyone else have a problem with what Vergara’s character calls “r-r-rachel profiling” as it pertains to her hoochie Charo thing here?

      Witherspoon’s uptight Cooper is assigned to guard Vergara’s druglord wife, Mrs. Riva, in a witness protection program before she testifies about a Colombian crime boss. Through a series of barely explained events, they end up being chased by both cops and killer thugs.

      Maybe some of this sounded funny on paper. The tightly wound Cooper accidentally inhaling a trunkload of coke probably could have been a riot in a movie willing to take more risks. And the missed opportunities of the women hiding in a San Antonio biker bar mean no one’s going to forget Pee-wee’s Big Adventure.

      Let’s allow precisely one laugh: a moment in a hotel room, with Mrs. Riva trying to fight Cooper by jamming one of those germ-infested TV remotes in her mouth.

      We know from Election and Modern Family that these women can do comedy. So we’re going to have to blame the direction, the lame script, and an odd lack of chemistry here—things no height differential can make up for.

      Follow Janet Smith on Twitter @janetsmitharts.

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