Machete Kills is awesomely craptastic

    1 of 2 2 of 2

      Starring Danny Trejo, Amber Heard, and Mel Gibson. Rated 14A.

      Vulgar and exploitive, Machete Kills is marked by out-of-control overacting, entirely unnecessary ultra-violence, and a disjointed script that seems like it was written on cantina napkins during a drunken weekend in Tijuana.

      All of which contributes to it being stupidly awesome.

      The film is a bigger-and-better sequel to Machete, a 2010 outing that began as a jokey ’70s-vintage trailer for the underappreciated Robert Rodriguez/Quentin Tarantino B-movie homage Grindhouse. In addition to cowriting the screenplay, Rodriguez directs here, his main goal evidently to prove that there’s no such thing as taking things too far. If your idea of a good time is psychotic whorehouse vixens with machine-gun bras, and decapitations where the heads look like they’re from Woolworths mannequins, get ready for trash at its tastiest.

      Real-life badass Danny Trejo returns again as Machete, a killing lone-wolf-for-hire with a face like 200 miles of bad, sun-cracked Mexican road. In a tip-off that realism isn’t exactly a big concern for Rodriguez, Machete is enlisted by no less than the president of the United States (a foul-mouthed, cheeba-huffing, bimbo-porking Charlie Sheen) to deal with a missile being pointed at the U.S. capital from Mexican drug-cartel territory.

      As stoic and effortlessly menacing as Trejo is, half the fun of Machete Kills comes from a deep support cast that understands it’s not making a Merchant Ivory film. Playing Luther Voz, a Star Wars–obsessed scientist out to destroy the world, Mel Gibson delivers a mixture of wide-eyed crazy and blind rage that would scare Joe Eszterhas, while Academy Award nominee Demian Bichir is a voracious scenery-chewing machine as a split-personality Mexican kingpin.

      Mostly, though, this is Rodriguez gleefully making a chaotic B-movie on a Hollywood-size budget, where he’s able to indulge every idea no matter how outrageous. Forget the sociopolitical subtext that made Machete nowhere near as kitsch-cool as its Grindhouse trailer: the only thing Machete Kills asks is “Why stop at having a guy pulled into helicopter blades by his intestines once when you can do it twice?”

      Sure it’s craptastic, but, really, that’s the entire point.

      Comments