Starring Ryan Kwanten and Sara Canning. Rated 14A.
When Leo Palomino (Ryan Kwanten) gets curb-kicked by his wife (Kristen Hager), she proceeds to blog about his many deficiencies. In the real world, a site called “Why You Suck” couldn’t go viral, and turning that kind of digital hit job into a book and movie totally at the expense of said person—also named in TV appearances—would result in more than humiliation. I’m thinking massive lawsuit, with a healthy cut of the profits. (Anyway, she details how he sucks, not why.)
Too litigious for Canadians, you say?! Well, despite the gorgeous Banff settings (and other western-Alberta scenes, captured magically by Luc Montpellier), this is all happening in Colorado. So just be happy no guns are involved. You could see people reaching for their Colt .45s when the already obnoxious guy turns into a big-time stalker. This happens upon the first sighting of spunky Colette (Sara Canning), just as she’s marrying a rich, tall, square-jawed Olympic skier (Ryan McPartlin) who runs a summer program for kids. It’s called Camp Awesome Times.
Leo loves his dishwashing job, and can’t really compete, so he simply remains himself—everywhere she goes. Fortunately, his aggressive fixation is occasionally derailed by Leo’s single-dad boss (Raoul Bhaneja), his best bud and the latter’s manic-artist wife (Will Sasso and Jennifer Baxter), and an insufficient number of visits with Colette’s free-spirited mother (Catherine O’Hara), whom the daughter resents for an overly globetastic childhood.
That relationship gives us some insights regarding Colette’s intense personality, but the script—adapted from Tim Sandlin’s novel by Megan Martin—doesn’t convince that she could inspire such an inappropriately chivalrous quest. The Australian-born Kwanten, a True Blood regular, certainly makes an acceptable Ryan, if various Reynoldses and Goslings are not available. But the generally likable film, handled by Benny & Joon director Jeremiah S. Chechik, has a slightly machine-made quality.
By the way, it makes fun of Colette’s Hummer-driving hubby for his taste in women, but I did notice that almost every gal in the movie has long blond hair and a lululemon bod. Just sayin’.