Swearnet: The Movie is better with booze

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      Starring Robb Wells, Mike Smith, and John Paul Tremblay. Rated 18A. Now playing

      When I was a kid, I loved reading movie reviews almost as much as seeing movies. It was amazing to find grown-ups discussing entertainment in a serious manner. But these writers could also be too serious; John Simon, for example, evidently believed that every movie would have been improved by his magesterial insight, while Pauline Kael had no notion of genre films at all.

      To this day, I can’t understand why anyone would bother to review something like a cheesy action flick if they hate all cheesy action flicks. They’re never going to get it, and shouldn’t pretend that they even tried. In that vein, I really tried to get Swearnet: The Movie. I like anarchic comedy in general and, as a Canadian and former small-town hoser, feel a kinship to the Trailer Park Boys.

      A highly fictionalized account of their comedy channel, SwearNet.com, the movie sees the Boys break with network television, deal with debt, endure relationship woes, and fight for each other as the brotherhood of comedy icons that they are. The film nicely establishes their non-TPB characters (“Wells” is an overly passive sweetheart, “Tremblay” is a fierce but sentimental racer, and “Smith” is dangerously impulsive), builds the plot around a visually exciting event (a car rally in Halifax), and deploys the awesomely shameless Patrick Roach as their mascot, Swearman.

      The problem was: I was not high or drunk, and Swearnet is a party movie, full stop. Sober, I was bothered by the hateful depiction of Wells’s girlfriend, by the horribleness of Carrot Top, by the unthreatening villains, and by the fundamental notion that swearing is automatically funny. Swearing is equally a part of drama, horror or tragedy.

      But if I, like the balance of the screening audience, had come directly from festivities of the 2014 Kush Cup, then I might not have been thinking too much. I could have been content to laugh at Roach’s penis, which is quite funny. And also horrifying, and tragic.

      Comments

      5 Comments

      The Fucking Problem

      Aug 27, 2014 at 9:44am

      The fucking problem is that we have a bunch of cocksuckers controlling what we can and cannot say. It's unlikely that this will get through, given the use of "cocksucker." What's more important: freedom of speech, or some poof's feelings? Which one is the basis for our system of government?

      Ron Y

      Aug 28, 2014 at 10:38am

      What are you talking about? Also, FAIL on the gay slurs...

      Steve Newton

      Aug 29, 2014 at 12:21pm

      I'm borrowing Ricky's car and driving backwards to the fucking liquor store. Anybody need anything?

      Ron Y

      Aug 30, 2014 at 3:00pm

      I know a guy who had a car that drove backwards. He only used it at night so that the cops wouldn't bust him. He had it like that for about three years!

      Theweedguy

      Sep 1, 2014 at 7:42pm

      Movie was fucking funny as shit u cocksuckrs