Vancouver goes hard in the paint for an explosive Life in Color

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      At the Pacific Coliseum on Saturday, September 12

      Typically when you go to a show, you don’t expect someone named Sjoerd to spray pink paint out of a high-powered hose on you during a David Guetta track. But that’s what you sign up for when you attend the Life in Color: Big Bang Creation of Color paint rave.

      If you’re a paint-rave neophyte, think of it as a Gwar concert pushed to wonderful, new levels of ridiculousness courtesy of the hormone-driven mayhem that one can only witness at an EDM massive. Billed as the “world’s largest paint party”, Life in Color is a globetrotting spectacle in which big-name dance acts play the bangers, all building toward proverbial money shots where the crowd gets covered in Technicolor goo.

      The Coliseum was ready. The scoreboard was wrapped in plastic to prevent damage, and the floor had been carpeted to prevent slippage. At the merch table were the tools of the trade: bottles of blue, green, and pink paint as well as shirts that read “I Go Hard in the Paint”. (If subtle sexual innuendo is your thing, you were at the wrong show.)

      On-stage, behind the LED DJ plinth, was Matthew Koma, best known as the vocalist on big-room anthems by Hardwell, Tiësto, and Zedd. He was playing a remix of “Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)” by Eurythmics, which naturally inspired a spirited sing-along. Bass drops were punctuated with paint blasts from cannons, to the delight of thousands decked out in skimpy white outfits with LED accoutrements.

      When's the last time you went out and got to recreate the prom scene from Carrie?
      Rebecca Blissett photo.

      “Life in Color, we’re just getting fucking started tonight,” Koma declared. Then acrobatic go-go dancers appeared on-stage and began hosing the fist-pumping crowd with paint, described on the Life in Color website as “odorless, light on the skin and more vibrant making it perfect for everyone to ‘Go Hard in the Paint!’ with”.

      Up to that point, I’d managed to remain conspicuously clean. That ended when MAKJ came on. During countless assaults via Skrillex as well as his own remixes of O. T. Genasis’s “CoCo” and the Porn Kings’ classic “Up to No Good”, a paint partier noticed I was a blank canvas.

      “I gotta. You’re a virgin,” she said while grinning devilishly, then nailed my shirt with a substantial amount of blue paint. Those stains were soon complemented by green ones on my forehead and hair when I wandered too close to the mosh pit while a song with Lil Jon’s booming voice commanded everyone to get fucked up, as if any more encouragement was required.

      Sometimes it's okay to point. Like when you're sitting on someone's shoulders and it's raining paper at a paint party.
      Rebecca Blissett photo.

      The final act of the evening was Dutch brothers Sjoerd and Wouter Janssen, better known as Showtek. For their blaring set, Wouter assumed the role of selector while Sjoerd emceed. Sjoerd isn’t a particularly gifted emcee. But let me tell you, that fucker is world-class when it comes to operating paint-rave weaponry.

      “If you wanna get dirty, put your hands up,” Sjoerd commanded. Everyone obliged, and he began to paint an inch thick on the whole crowd. He was merciless.

      We got all the big Showtek jams like “We Like to Party” and “Get Loose” along with ones from Afrojack, DJ Snake, Tiësto, and even Alice Deejay. Oh wait, that last one wasn’t “Better Off Alone”, it was David Guetta’s “Play Hard”. BLOOSH. And now, despite being at least 100 feet from the stage, I was coated in so much pink paint, I looked and felt like I’d just had a bucket of pig’s blood dumped on me.

      Veteran Life in Color attendess bring a towel. Which is usually useless 10 minutes into the night.
      Rebecca Blissett photo.

      Lacking the telekinetic powers necessary to enact a proper revenge, I went to the smoke pit for a quiet moment to process what had just happened. While I was out there, the woman who’d deckled me with blue paint earlier saw me and approved of my new look.

      Back inside, it was approaching the 1 a.m. curfew, but there was still some paint left and Showtek had a few more in them. They ended with their biggest song, “Bad”, a collab with Guetta, followed by “Booyah”, then “FTS (Fuck the System)”. While those were playing, Sjoerd was alternating between five-gallon buckets and the hose. No one was spared, not even the security guards, who were also loving every minute of this.

      As the shell-shocked revellers left the venue, some resembled Jackson Pollock paintings, but most looked like they’d just been expelled from the womb. They needed showers, and their phones likely needed baths in buckets of rice. You keep hearing old people go on about how young people today only want to pay for unique experiences versus things. It’s easy to see why when a paint rave is on the table of things to do. All I had were Much Video Dance parties in gymnasiums, which weren’t very conducive to going hard in.

      Showtek, the members of which saw no need to hit the stage in their painting clothes.
      Rebecca Blissett photo.
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      "Oh shit. I forgot to throw my hands in the air and wave them around like I just don't care."
      Rebecca Blissett photo.
      Some people can't get enough of the taste of paint, some people find it disgusting. Sometimes they end up right next to each other at shows.
      Rebecca Blissett photo.
      A banging remix of "Blame Canada" came complete with props.
      Rebecca Blissett photo.
      Like the Blue Man group, only female and accented by off-red paint.
      Rebecca Blissett photo.

      Comments

      1 Comments

      Winston II

      Sep 14, 2015 at 7:15pm

      My god I feel fucking old after reading this. Thanks for nothing Straight.