Holiday discs 2013: The Robertsons' Duck the Halls: A Robertson Family Christmas

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      The Robertsons
      Duck the Halls : A Robertson Family Christmas

      underpants

      Not that I’ve ever watched Duck Dynasty, but if you’re going to release a record by a bunch of fucking hillbillies, that record should at least smell like moonshine, tobacco spittle, and swamp water. Based on Duck the Halls, the Robertson family isn’t exactly spending its downtime making city boys squeal like pigs in backwoods Louisiana. “I’ll Be Home for Christmas” sounds like it was recorded for the Otis Elevator Company, and “Silent Night” is all music-box piano and Christian-television-special strings. At least “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch” sounds exactly like you expect it to, mostly because the vocals sound like the work of an inbred (Uncle Si Robertson) who is tone-deaf and too stupid know it.

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