Oh, sure, you could just hang around Vancouver all summer and have a great time. Who would blame you? After all, we’re pretty damn blessed here, what with the beaches and the parks and the occasionally decent weather. And you would be forgiven, in fact, for ignoring all that in favour of staying inside all summer, quietly weeping.

Actually, scratch that last bit. That’s totally unforgivable. You only get so many summers in your lifetime, and you never know which one will be your last. YOLO, as the kids say. So get out there and make the most of it. There will be time enough for moping during the other nine months of the year when the sky is slate grey from sunup to sundown and the blood flows like rivers in the streets. Did I say blood? I meant rainwater. You get the idea.

To get you motivated, peruse this list of festivals that will make you want to not only leave the house, but hit the highway. You’ve probably never been to Rock Creek, Osoyoos, or Brown’s Mountain, or to the Beaverfoot Lodge in Golden. Even if you have, you should go again, because this time there will be some excellent music to make the trip worthwhile. And, you know, YOLO. As the kids say.

TD Victoria International Jazzfest

June 20 to 29 at various venues in Victoria

Why you’re piling into the smart fortwo: As usual, Victoria’s jazz fest runs roughly concurrently with Vancouver’s and has the same title sponsor, which means that the two events share many of the same performers, including Bobby McFerrin, Angélique Kidjo, Cassandra Wilson, Jason Marsalis Vibes Quartet, and Maceo Parker. 

Big Selling Point: All that crossover is going to make for some interesting ferry trips. If you happen to run into McFerrin on the way over, he’ll almost certainly be delighted to lead his fellow passengers in a rousing sing-along version of “Don’t Worry Be Happy” long enough to last the entire trip. Just ask him!

Desert Live Music Festival

June 27 to July 1 in Osoyoos

Why you’re piling into the smart fortwo: Yes, we do have a desert right here in B.C., and it’s within a day’s drive of Vancouver. Let’s hope there’s plenty of liquid refreshment on hand while the likes of Yukon Blonde, Shawn Hook, Redeye Empire, No Sinner, Papertrails, and Tasman Jude are performing. 

Big Selling Point: Free admission! Also, if you wait long enough, you are practically guaranteed to spot a ravenous coyote pursuing a roadrunner down an empty stretch of highway while tumbleweeds roll by.

Tall Tree Music Festival

June 27 to 29 at Brown’s Mountain in Port Renfrew

Why you’re piling into the smart fortwo: A ton of great independent acts from B.C. and beyond, including Dan Mangan, the Dudes, SonReal, Jon & Roy, Head of the Herd, Good for Grapes, Bear Mountain, the Matinée, BESTiE, and Acres of Lions. 

Big Selling Point: Tall Tree actually takes place at the top of a mountain. It’s not the tallest mountain, true, but still, that’s pretty cool.

Victoria Ska Festival

July 1 to 5 at various venues in Victoria

Why you’re piling into the smart fortwo: Get your skank on to the rockin’est rock-steady beat of ska, reggae, and dub from Shaggy, Barrington Levy & the Detour Posse, the Aggrolites, Fishbone, and Lynval Golding of the Specials. Actually, “get your skank on” sounds kind of sleazy, so maybe don’t do that. 

Big Selling Point: If you can find another ska-centric music festival that is bigger or better than this one (or, you know, even exists), then by all means, throw on your porkpie hat and checkerboard suspenders, hop on your tricked-out Vespa, and go to it instead. Bet you can’t, though.

Mayhem Festival

July 8 at White River Amphitheater in Auburn, Washington

Why you’re piling into the smart fortwo: Avenged Sevenfold, Korn, Asking Alexandria, Trivium, Cannibal Corpse, Body Count, Suicide Silence, Emmure, Miss May I, Mushroomhead, and a writhing sea of black T-shirts. 

Big Selling Point: The best part about going deaf is that you no longer have to hear your parents tell you to clean up your goddamn room and get a goddamn haircut.

Keloha Music and Arts Festival

July 11 to 13 at Waterfront Park in Kelowna

Why you’re piling into the smart fortwo: Inexplicably Hawaiian-themed party with an indie edge, starring Sky Ferreira, the Naked and Famous, Local Natives, Monster Truck, Kongos, and St. Lucia. Oh, and some of our favourite B.C. acts, like the Gay Nineties, Bend Sinister, Rolla Olak, Hey Ocean!, the Harpoonist and the Axe Murderer, and the tropicalicious BESTiE. 

Big Selling Point: The convergence of the Hawaiian theme and the presence of BESTiE is a sure sign that, at some point during Keloha, you will be eating pineapple.

Vancouver Island Musicfest

July 11 to 13 at Comox Valley Fairgrounds in Courtenay

Why you’re piling into the smart fortwo: Demographically speaking, this one tends to skew a little toward the grey-haired set, with this year’s bigger names including blues-rock queen Bonnie Raitt, world-music icon Angélique Kidjo, gospel veterans the Blind Boys of Alabama, Italian folkie Beppe Gambetta, and acoustic tunesmith Blind Boy Paxton. Actually, Paxton is only 25, but given his devotion to pre–World War II blues, you’d swear the guy was in his 80s. 

Big Selling Point: The festival website lists genres ranging from guitar masters and kids to First Nations and ghetto funk! (complete with exclamation mark), so you can’t really go wrong.

Harrison Festival of the Arts

July 12 to 20 in Harrison Hot Springs

Why you’re piling into the smart fortwo: A global feast of sounds, including Mokoomba from Zimbabwe, American acoustic bluesman Eric Bibb, and Mexico’s Quique Escamilla, plus B.C. artists such as Cannery Row, the Sabir Sisters, and the Langley Ukulele Ensemble. Betcha didn’t know Langley had its very own ukulele ensemble. 

Big Selling Point: Since you’re there anyway, you can make a side trip to the hot springs for a relaxing soak. Don’t get too relaxed, though—no one wants to be immersed in your urine.

Motion Notion

July 24 to 28 at Beaverfoot Lodge in Golden

Why you’re piling into the smart fortwo: Remember when “electronica” was a thing? Well, now we have EDM, which is exactly the same, only completely different because it’s happening now and not in 1996. Molly and friends will enjoy dancing to Dieselboy, Longwalkshortdock, Akasha Experience, Huglife, Smalltown DJs, DC Breaks, Dirtyloud, Doctor Werewolf, Freq Nasty, Knight Riderz, Marten Hørger, Neon Steve, Stickybuds, Stylust Beats, Sub Zero, the Funk Hunters, and Wax Romeo. 

Big Selling Point: The website promises “video mapping”, “intelligent moving-head LED lighting”, “UV cannons”, and “the Pyramidion”. No idea what any of those things are, but they sound abso-fucking-lutely mind-blowing.

Center of Gravity

July 25 to 27 at City Park and Hot Sands Beach in Kelowna

Why you’re piling into the smart fortwo: Uh, yeah, brah, this one is all about, like, wakeboarding and beach volleyball. and stuff. And, uh, freestyle mountain-biking and skateboarding and beach volleyball, and hella other sports. Oh, and live music from Calvin Harris, J. Cole, Chromeo, Tegan and Sara, Matt & Kim, Adventure Club, Morgan Page, Capital Cities, and Trinidad James. And something called Bro Safari. Did I mention beach volleyball?

Big Selling Point: Let’s face it, the whole thing is going to be a “bro safari”.

Mission Folk Music Festival

July 25 to 27 at Fraser River Heritage Park in Mission

Why you’re piling into the smart fortwo: This year’s edition of MF2 (that’s what they’re calling it, mofo) features artists that fall under a number of umbrella themes, including True Blues, Sounds of the World, Balkan Roots, and North of 49. That spells variety, with everyone from second-generation blues artist Zakiya Hooker (John Lee’s daughter) to folk-pop upstarts Good for Grapes onboard.

Big Selling Point: If you can’t find something to enjoy at this one, you probably hate music. Or yourself. Possibly both.

Bass Coast Festival

August 1 to 4 at Active Mountain Resort in Merritt

Why you’re piling into the smart fortwo: A Tribe Called Red, Thugfucker, Hrdvsion, Paleman, Sweater Beats, Natasha Kmeto, Jubilee, Mat the Alien, Bordello, Adam Shaikh, Blondtron, Calamalka, CURE, DJ K-Tel, Dan Solo, DJ Lorne B, Fort Knox Five, Humans, Isis Graham, Jpod the Beat Chef, Longwalk-shortdock, Luke McKeehan, Max Ulis, Michael Red, Smalltown DJs, Sweet Soul Burlesque, Taal Mala, the Funk Hunters, Vinyl Ritchie, Willisist, and Yan Zombie, and many other dance-oriented acts and DJs, all of whom are about to discover that Merritt is, in fact, not on the coast. 

Big Selling Point: Bass Coast has relocated from Squamish, which means you won’t have to brave the Sea to Sky Highway of Doom to get to it. So there’s that.

Watershed Festival

August 1 to 3 at the Gorge Amphitheatre in George, Washington

Why you’re piling into the smart fortwo: Lady Antebellum, Tim McGraw, Kip Moore, Cassadee Pope, Joe Diffie, and a bunch of other acts that will appeal to the kind of folks who recognize themselves in those “You might be a redneck if…” jokes. 

Big Selling Point: Based on what we know from previous country-music festivals, we’ll just say that if there’s one event this summer at which you could conceivably get inhibition-obliteratingly drunk and bang a perfect stranger in the back of a pickup truck, this is it. If that’s a selling point for you, we’re not gonna judge.

Shambhala Music Festival

August 8 to 11 at Salmo River Ranch in Nelson

Why you’re piling into the smart fortwo: The longest-running electronic-music fest in B.C. (that we know of) features Moby, Beardyman, A Tribe Called Red, Sweatshop Union, Z-Trip, Rob Garza, Mr. Scruff, Beats Antique, Excision, Odesza, Mark Farina, Bassnectar, Ursula 1000, and Datsik. 

Big Selling Point: We hear the cheeba in Nelson is powerful enough to give Maureen Dowd a heart attack.

Salmon Arm Roots & Blues Festival

August 15 to 17 at Salmon Arm Fair Grounds in Salmon Arm

Why you’re piling into the smart fortwo: Roots and blues, obviously. Plus some other stuff. This year’s lineup includes Mavis Staples, Alvin Youngblood Hart’s Muscle Theory, the Sheepdogs, Leon Redbone, Bill Durst, Doc MacLean, Rolla Olak, Little Miss Higgins, Bellstop, Rose Cousins, Shad, the Stone Foxes, the Strumbellas, Monkeyjunk, Genevieve Chadwick, Jr. Gone Wild, Tim Hus, Oh My Darling, Rattle & Strum, Chloe Albert, J.R. Shore, Black Joe Lewis, Cousin Harley, Good for Grapes, Josh Ritter, and Tanika Charles & the Wonderfuls. 

Big Selling Point: The chance to finally settle the long-standing question of whether or not salmon actually have arms. (I make this joke every year because it never gets old. Never, I say!)

MusicFestNW

August 16 and 17 at Waterfront Park in Portland, Oregon

Why you’re piling into the smart fortwo: Because it takes place in Portlandia and features a studiously curated slate of acts including Girl Talk, Spoon, Haim, Fucked Up, Phantogram, Run the Jewels, Future Islands, tUnE-yArDs, Man Man, Pink Mountaintops, and EMA, MusicFestNW is a must for hipsters, people who deny being hipsters, and those who were denying being hipsters before it was cool to deny being a hipster. 

Big Selling Point: Indie rock isn’t dead—it just moved to Portland, grew a beard, and launched an Indiegogo campaign to fund its craft microbrewery and organic shade-grown coffee-roasting facility.

Sturgis Canada 2014

August 21 to 24 in Merritt

Why you’re piling into the smart fortwo: Motorcycle-enthusiast-friendly classic rockers like Burton Cummings, the Stampeders, Molly Hatchet, Canned Heat, Nick Gilder & Sweeney Todd, Alias, Coney Hatch, Teenage Head, Jerry Doucette, Killer Dwarfs, and Katey Sagal & the Forest Rangers.

Big Selling Point: It turns out that Peg Bundy is something of a rock ’n’ roller.

PonderosaFfestival

August 22 to 24 in Rock Creek

Why you’re piling into the smart fortwo: Where the hell is Rock Creek? No idea, but it’s worth finding out, because the organizers of the Ponderosa Festival have convinced the likes of Blouse, Braids, the Gay Nineties, Ladyhawk, Good for Grapes, Jay Malinowski and the Deadcoast, No Sinner, and Wampire to play there.

Big Selling Point: Finding out where the hell Rock Creek is.

Rifflandia Festival

September 11 to 14 at Royal Athletic Park in Victoria

Why you’re piling into the smart fortwo: As of press time, Rifflandia has yet to release details of its 2014 lineup, but given that past performers have included the Flaming Lips, Cake, City and Colour, Dan Mangan, Sloan, Austra, Tegan and Sara, Beach House, and Pink Mountaintops, you just know it’s going to be awesome. Probably. 

Big Selling Point: Uh… Surprises?