Beyond boobs

Former booby-obsessed Blink-182 guitarist Tom Delonge claims he’s talked to the U.S. government about sharing alien-encounter secrets through his Sekret Machines initiative. Forget aliens—what the guy has obviously discovered is some killer weed.

Dirty word alert

Apple has applied for a patent on technology that will scan songs for explicit language and censor offending words during playback. Now if only it would invent something that does the same thing with Nicki Minaj guest raps.

Gunners not coming

Guns N’ Roses isn’t playing Vancouver on its upcoming tour featuring original members Axl Rose and Slash. That’s nowhere near as disappointing as the time GN’R did play Vancity with the Buckethead lineup.

No SlØt-shaming

Due to what they called “social-media censorship”, the members of Norwegian pop-punk band Slutface announced they were changing their moniker to Sløtface. Note for non-Norsk readers: the new name’s pronunciation is identical to the old one’s. Very clever, those Norwegians!