Clown town

The Insane Clown Posse is organizing an anti-FBI march in Washington for September 17 of 2017, the group protesting the agency’s decision to list its fans—known as Juggalos—as an organized gang. Of course it’s entirely possible that, by that time, the FBI—not mention everyone living in Washington—will be more worried about a more dangerous clown: Donald J. Trump.

Dangerous woman

According to leaked Democratic National Committee emails, Ariana Grande nixed her chances of singing for U.S. president Barack Obama when she was caught on video licking the goods in a donut shop last year. Proclaiming “I hate America” probably didn’t help either.

Projectile projecting

Jane’s Addiction frontman Perry Farrell has slammed Lollapallooza—which he created 25 years ago—for going overboard on EDM acts this year. Farrell added the genre makes him want to puke out his nostrils, a thought that becomes doubly unpleasant when one considers the mammoth fucking size of his nose.

Gunning for fame

Rapper Kasper “The Phantom” Knight became an epehemeral Internet sensation this week when he uploaded a video that showed him firing a gun into his cheek and spitting up blood. Now he’s famous! Not for his music, but for being that dipshit who shot himself in the face.