What’s in Your Fridge is where the Straight asks interesting Vancouverites about their life-changing concerts, favourite albums, and, most importantly, what’s sitting beside the Heinz Ketchup in their custom-made Big Chill Retropolitan 20.6-cubic-foot refrigerators.

On the grill

Randy Rampage.

Who are you

Who the fuck do you think I am? I’m Randy Rampage, the gnarly old rocker dude who wrote I Survived D.O.A. I’m an original member of D.O.A., and I also sang for the metal band Annihilator. Music is my thing, so Chris Walter did the actual writing, but the story is in my words and the book is about me, so that makes it mine, right?

First concert

Box Tops, the Animals, and Canned Heat at the Agrodome in 1970. Me and Tony Bardach (Pointed Sticks), and Michael Bardach. We got a ride from his dad, Norman. I was 10 at the time. I don’t remember it really. There was a lot of pot smoking. The first concert I remember was Kiss at the Commodore in 1975. That was when Gene Simmons lit a girl’s coat on fire. I was a big Kiss fan, so I went up to the front and started taking pictures. Gene Simmons did light her on fire, but it was a total mistake. First he did his blood-capsule thing, and when he spit blood into the crowd—it hit her faux-fur jacket. She was pissed off at him, so she got in between the bouncers and the stage, and the next thing you know, he did the kerosene thing and lit her coat on fire. She was mad but not injured, luckily. Second concert? T. Rex in 1973. It was terrible. [Marc] Bolan came out, and at the end of the set he said, “Fuck you, Vancouver!” and left the stage. I saw Led Zeppelin later that year. They had a massive motherfucking PA.

Life-changing concert

Without doubt, Iggy Pop at the PNE Garden in 1977, with David Bowie playing keyboards. Unbelievable. I saw the concert and went, “I wanna do that.” I will never forget that show. Iggy was climbing the speakers and shit, pulling his cock out and doing all sorts of bizarre things. Hunt and Tony Sales were the bass player and drummer for Iggy’s band at the time. At the beginning of the show, Soupy Sales—the ’60s comedian—was in town, so he introduced the band. It was totally surreal. Iggy was an animal. He was soooo good. The original Blondie was the opening act. No one cared about them. They were playing covers like “Palisades Park” BTW, there were hardly any people there—about a third full!

Top three records

David Bowie David Live Because it’s a great cross-section of fabulous fucking tunes, done live and done really well. The thing about Bowie is that he always had great bands. I remember seeing him at the Serious Moonlight Tour in 1983 at the brand new BC Place with Peter Gabriel and the Tubes. My girl Cozy gave me a blowjob in the middle of the floor during the show.

Sex Pistols Never Mind the Bollocks Along with the Damned’s first album, Never Mind the Bollocks changed my whole attitude, and turned me on to music with a harder edge. The Damned album is great too.

Frank Zappa Over-Nite Sensation One of the best classic comedic dirty filthy rock albums ever.

Favourite video

Give me a fucking break! How can anyone pick one favourite video? My all-time favourite video show was the cable TV show Nite Dreems, which aired live on Sunday nights in Vancouver. They were showing music videos before MuchMusic and MTV were even on the air. There is no “best” video. I’m more of a live guy. Thunders Live in Japan, Bowie Live. Anything live. Fuck the rest. I’ve never been a big fan of videos—never liked the concept. How about the live performance of Queen at Live Aid ’85. TV was just getting into big rock concerts at the time. Queen’s set was amazing, and then Bowie and [Freddie] Mercury sang “Under Pressure” together. Mercury absolutely killed it. No wonder there was an AIDS benefit dedicated to him when he died. Again Bowie and Annie Lennox killed it with “Under Pressure.” Axl Rose did his thing with Elton John. Susanne Tabata’s Bloodied But Unbowed is a documentary not a video, but it captured the reality of early punk and of D.O.A. There’s no bullshit, just the real thing.

What’s in your fridge

Feldman’s Drawer. We have a roommate who looks like Marty Feldman, so we gave him his own drawer. We actually labeled it “FELDMANS DRAWER” He’s a good guy but extremely frugal, and we’d hate to accidently eat any of his stuff, especially since everything in there must be way past the “best by” date. I’ve never really looked in Feldman’s Drawer, but he hates to throw anything away, so I’m thinking he keeps stuff until it grows legs and runs off on its own. He could have body parts in there and we’d never know the fuckin’ difference. Christ, now I’m afraid to look in there. Is your cat or dog missing?

My Drawer. Yes, it’s also labelled and contains half-empty containers of moldy sour cream, desiccated peppers, stinky old onions, and expired hamburger and pork. I made burritos when I got back from tour about 30 years ago, and just kind of left that stuff to mature. Someday, archeologists will be able to tell what sort of things longshoremen/musicians were unable to finish. I don’t know why I never ate that stuff. Maybe I’m just afraid to deal with that garbage now. I wonder if Feldman will take it off my hands?

Fish Sauce. I have no idea why we have this stuff in our fridge, but it’s too smelly to use as a lubricant, and I’m sure as hell not going to eat any. I was at Chris Walter’s house a while ago, and he also has a big bottle of that crap in his fridge. Maybe fridges come with a bottle of this nasty stuff already included? I can’t see anyone actually going out and buying it on purpose. Maybe I’ll think of something to do with it someday, but sure as hell won’t be putting it in any real food. I’m sure Feldman doesn’t even want that foul stuff. I’ll give you 20 bucks if you take a good swig. You’ll probably die and I won’t have to pay.

Randy Rampage will read from I Survived D.O.A. at a November 11 book launch at Funky Winker Beans. His new band Rampage will also play.