Laurie Berkner
A Laurie Berkner Christmas

She might be a chick, but children’s entertainer Laurie Berkner has horse chestnut–size balls. As the title of this offering makes clear, when it comes to Xmas you either celebrate Laurie Berkner–style or you pack up your snot-nosed diaper dumpers and hit the fucking road. It’s not “a kid’s Christmas”, it’s “a Laurie Berkner Christmas”, which means you get a bunch of, well, snot-nosed diaper dumpers helping out on preschooler-friendly songs like “Do You Hear What I Hear?” and “Frosty the Snowman”. Be warned, though, that after three listens of lesser-known tracks like “Christmas Lights” (sample lyrics: “Christmas lights are flashing/On, off, on, off/Wonder what those lights are thinking/On, off, on, off”), anyone over the age of four will want to punch out an elf, not to mention Laurie Berkner.