Unsuspecting pop music fan outraged by pop music concert

Comments5

You force the music section to take Lisa Jean Helps to a Milli Vanilli reunion tour, and we reward you with a Payback Time T-shirt and two tickets to a Live Nation club show of your choosing. Here’s this week’s winning whine.

Dear Payback Time: I have to ask you after that asinine review of Nicki Minaj: what show were you at? Did you just read her press release and then write the review? Didn’t you show up? Because that’s sure as hell what Ms. Minaj did! Thirty-two minutes of a 70-minute show and Nicki Minaj not on-stage?! The most touching moment of the entire show was when the kids (because that’s what the audience was made up of) were singing along to “Marilyn Monroe” and chanting for her with their iPhones lit, and she couldn’t be bothered to come out to actually sing to that prerecorded track. It wasn’t even a spectacle, it was a 70-minute music video that sounded like MTV circa 1992.

As for this: “Minaj bounced around the stage, smiling, coiling her body, and hollering into her pink-crystal-encrusted microphone. She blasted through hits like ‘Beez in the Trap’, ‘Did It on ’Em’, and ‘Right by My Side’ with precision, completely on her game”—what game? Is there a stoned-to-the-gills marathon I don’t know anything about?

Don’t encourage these kids to pay 100 or 150 bucks for that bullshit. That was a piss-poor excuse for any concert, let alone one by a pop-music “star”. Nickelback would have at least stayed on-stage. And when I’m comparing Nickelback FAVOURABLY to something, you know the comparison must have been beyond the pale.

> Lisa Jean Helps

Mish Way responds: Dearest Lisa—Yes, I was at the concert. In fact, I held a young girl’s high heels and purse for her when she ran to the front of the stage to get a closer look at Nicki Minaj. Every person around me was excited and having fun at the show with their friends. Isn’t that what concerts are supposed to be about? At least for me, they always have been.

I’m a musician. (I sing in a band called White Lung. Look us up.) I have grown up in the punk scene and toured around North America. I’ve spent the last seven years of my life going to shows in dirty basements and bars. I get the punk world, so perhaps the spectacle of a theatrical pop show was exciting to me.

Maybe you’re angry that you wasted $150 on this show and didn’t get what you wanted. But what were you expecting, exactly? It’s pop. We all know what pop is now. It’s a practised, staged event, like a play. It’s supposed to be fun! I encourage you to come and see my band. I promise there will be no 30-minute pauses or prerecorded tracks. I may throw a drink in your face, but, hey, that’s all a part of the show.

Voice your impotent rage by snail mail or by sending an email to payback@straight.com.

Comments (5) Add New Comment
Ben Gazarra
punk scene? last 7 years? HAHAHAHA. Mish Way wasn't even alive when any action was going on in the "punk" scene. Wow, you're a real veteran man, back in the day in 2006. When youtube came out it really took the scene by storm. Shut the fuck up about punk you retarded hipster. I've literally read about 50 people complaining about your bullshit attempt at writing. You're bloody horrible.
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Dude Ranch
people who think punk is dead or doesn't exist anymore are usually sad morons who regret their life choices because they don't have time to go out and pay attention to what's going on around them. vancouver's punk and hardcore scene is among the best in the world right now. saying otherwise is almost as embarrassing as using "bloody" as an adjective.
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Surrey Dan
Nice try mish way. But like Ben Gazarra said, how would you know. By the time you were a teenager it was the age of the internet. Bad life choices hahaha. A bad life choice would be a 45 year old man who there in 1982 to be attending ''punk'' shows in 2012 with people like you. Call it whatever you want but it's still gonna be a watered down re-enactment that puts anyone with a brain to sleep. Kinda like your articles...and write your real name next time.
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Goa Way
When her band isn't opening every other show in Vancouver (must be nice having friends in all the right places - like Vancouver needs any more cliquey-ness), she's name-dropping her band's name in articles/reviews at any given chance.

Oh, the hubris.
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El
Mish, you are a hipster, not punk.
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