Freedom fly: bottled horniness for the truly patriotic American

The New French
You know how John McCain said he might not talk to the Spanish government if he's elected president? How, in an interview last month, he lumped Spanish Prime Minister Jose Luis Zapatero in with anti-American leaders such as Venezuela's Hugo Chavez and the Castro Brothers of Cuba?

Does that make the Spanish the new French? And, if so, does that mean that this year all truly patriotic (i.e. idiotic) Americans will have to start calling their favourite aphrodisiac Freedom Fly, a la those Freedom Fries of French-hating days gone by? And, will Freedom Fly still get you as horny as its American-hating cousin, Spanish Fly?

Also, just to clarify, do all FOX News-watchin', Sarah Palin-lovin', NASCAR-cheerin', my-country-right-or-wrong-believin' Americans still have to hate all things French, or is that all over now seeing that their probable next commander-in-chief, Barack Obama, has always, like the French, been strongly against the invasion of Iraq?

Just wondering.

Enemy of the state?
I've got one other question. Are George W. Bush and the Republicans actually enemies of America?

Think about it; never in his wildest dreams did Osama bin Laden really think he could bring America to its knees... but Bush has. And all it took was an unnecessary war costing a cool trillion dollars; deregulation of Wall Street that has caused a near meltdown of the country's financial system and at least another trillion for the resulting bailout; massive annual budget deficits year in and year out; an unfathomable national debt of 10 trillion in all; and an all-time low in relations with overseas friends and foes alike.

Perhaps, as a friend said the other day, he's actually an undercover agent for al-Qaeda. How else could he possibly bring such a once-mighty country so low in just eight short years?

Whatever his actual intentions, you've got to admit that, as Bob Dylan once observed about some other complete fuckup: "He's sure got a lotta gall to be so useless and all."

Over the past year or so, the big question has undeniably changed. Whereas last year some people were still debating whether Bush was the worst president ever or not, the question now is: "Could he have possibly, in any way, shape or form, been any worse than he has actually been?"

Whatever you think of the guy, however, you've really got to hand it to him for taking Cheney along for the ride. We're talking a true masterstroke here. I mean, who in their right mind would ever seriously consider impeaching Dubya as long as President Dick (Cheney) would be the end result? Bush was free to break any law––international, domestic, constitutional, you name it––and he knew it all along. Hell, he could even open gulags and torture camps if he wanted to. Truly a brilliant move.

Mike Cowie is a writer currently embarked on a book about his three-year trip across Asia with his wife, Sonoko. Read more of Mike’s views on his Web site.