Furry Vengeance

Starring Brendan Fraser, Ken Jeong, and Brooke Shields. Rated G.

Family entertainment doesn’t stoop much lower than Furry Vengeance. At heart, it aspires to be a live-action remake of a Roadrunner cartoon—with a noticeably tubby Brendan Fraser belly-flopping his way into the exasperated role of Wile E. Coyote. Director Roger Kumble, whose career got off to such a promising start with 1999’s Cruel Intentions, is reduced to making the kind of movie where computer-enhanced images of forest animals do humiliating things to genuinely obnoxious human beings. If the idea of an angry raccoon attacking a spiteful person’s crotch leaves you helpless with mirth, this is the movie for you.

Watch the trailer for Furry Vengeance.

The brainless plot revolves around an ambitious real-estate developer named Dan Sanders (Fraser). In an effort to climb the corporate ladder, Dan moves his reluctant family to Oregon. Dan’s greedy boss (Ken Jeong, who manages to be brazenly offensive without prompting a single laugh) has a special assignment for him: wipe out the delicate ecology behind a thriving forest and build a monstrous subdivision. The animals Dan messes with have other ideas. They mobilize into an animal army and proceed to make his life a living hell.

Fraser throws himself into 90 minutes of nonstop embarrassment with the desperation of someone trying to salvage a sagging career. In the process, he gets clawed, pecked, crapped on, and sprayed numerous times by legions of angry skunks. Dan’s wife (Brooke Shields, who’s wise enough not to invest much effort in a thankless role) watches as her already dimwitted husband is reduced to a blithering idiot.

The animals conspiring against Dan are charmless creatures who rely on grunts, squeals, and comic-book thought bubbles to convey their feelings. Here’s a thought: with so much genuinely inspired stuff aimed at kids these days, why bother with a dud like this?