Vampires Suck takes a bite out of the Twilight Saga

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      Starring Matt Lanter and Jenn Proske. Rated PG.

      As artistic teams go, the writing/directing duo of Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer may not quite live up to Lennon and McCartney, Gilbert and Sullivan, or Henrik and Daniel Sedin. But with a resume that includes Epic Movie, Meet The Spartans, Disaster Movie, and Date Movie, they may well lead the pack in the rubric of consistency.

      Watch the trailer for Vampires Suck.

      The Friedberg/Setlzer method is to take a hit film, recast it with little-known actors, reproduce its plot as effectively as possible on a micro-budget, and replace most of the dialogue with pointed barbs at the source material. This would not seem to be the worst way to make a comedy, though the results continue to argue otherwise, at least aesthetically; they do well enough commercially to keep in production, most usefully as sleeping aids.

      Friedberg and Selzer have now tackled Stephenie Meyer’s juggernaut Twilight Saga with Vampires Suck, the title accurately signaling the level of wit and creativity to be found in the movie. It is as monotonous and predictable as rain in November.

      Yet it would be unfair to say that it is a wholly poor effort. For starts, the Twilight Saga invites parody, by positing unattainably fit men in sudden thrall of a thoroughly grim and insufferable blank. Better still, the actors impersonate the originals with real skill. In particular, Jenn Proske (as “Becca”) is startlingly good.

      Due to my familial proximity to teenagers, I have had to watch the Twilight movies numerous times, and not without some grudging enjoyment. It took Proske and her densely detailed reproduction of Kristen Stewart’s Bella to reveal that this seemingly one-note character is actually a writhing mass of tics and stammers. Filling out the cast, Ken Jeong is also on hand, to mug shamelessly and inject much-needed energy. It all adds up to a movie that is not a complete waste of time, which on the expectations-to-results ratio is a significant achievement.