Editor's note (April 13): Alan Saldanha has resigned as the Green candidate for Fleetwood-Port Kells.
My name is Alan Saldanha and I am standing for federal election from Fleetwood-Port Kells in Surrey.
Nine days ago—last Sunday morning at 7 a.m.—I was angry with my Higher Power. I am the publisher and editor of a small biweekly newspaper with a circulation of 2,200. My paper is tottering, though it is flooded with ads. My rates for advertising are low.
I only asked him to save my newspaper and my view to his plan was myopic. When I got back from morning church service, there was a voice at the other end of the telephone line. He asked me whether I would like to run in my own riding of Fleetwood-Port Kells.
I grabbed it like Anthony Perkins would respond to a fly on a trajectory to his face.
I am going to file my papers today and hopefully the 130 signatories nominating me for Fleetwood-Port Kells. I need just 100 though. I am a visible minority but 80 percent of the people who signed my nomination are Caucasian Canadian. I suppose Canadians like to support a small guy.
This morning, I sent out an update of what came to my mind. I asked all my friends and supporters worldwide to flood the Facebooks of Pamela Anderson, Heather Mills, and Sandra Bullock and plead of them to send a message to my “No way to kill a baby seal campaign”. I think the government should stop supplying free alcohol to people who actively engage in clubbing seals in a way that would make Genghis Khan’s hordes blush with embarrassment. I wonder if any man would do what they do if he were sober.
All you need is $18 million to support northern communities who are displaced if we stopped killing baby seals, and that can easily come from tax dollars from the legal sale of cannabis. Personally, I don’t fancy cannabis one bit. It makes me feel pukey. Cannabis is a $7 billion illegal sale in Canada. That is three times what Canada makes from wheat grain. I support cannabis sale on permits issued under stringent regulation. I suggest it cannot be smoked in cities, but five to 10 kilometres away on farms and people will be only able to ride transit to get there.
And tax the hell out of it. Well, not quite—but make the end product cost less than what drug dealers charge.
I hate what happened at Fukushima. I think robots should be programmed to approach rods of uranium and plutonium that have been heating up to hell-like temperatures because cooling systems have been paralysed. I feel bad for the Japanese people since I know them well. I used to do teacher-homestay for Japanese students. I am a Canadian qualified ESL teacher. The Japanese are the most resilient people on Earth and they will re-build their northeastern coast within 10 years, I think.
I was told that there is a proposal to erect five nuclear plants in northern Alberta to provide power to run machinery and harness water for raping the tar sands. I am against that.
The negative effects of global warming are a real threat to mankind. In 100 years, the snow will melt and having two-thirds of the world’s fossil oil reserves will be of no use at all.
I personally think that we should link it to how it effects our dollar. This is how it might work: We exploit the tar sands at Fort McMurray and our dollar becomes stronger. It is now at US$1.03. A stronger dollar means lesser exports. Lesser exports means more unemployment. I think a dollar hanging around 95 cents US will be ideal.
This morning, I make my first election promise to potential ethnic Punjabi students who are appearing for the Canadian citizenship test from anywhere in Canada. If I am elected I will give them free classes one morning in the week. And that applies if I am in Ottawa too. I have coached many ethnic students in the past. And every time I told them planting a tree is the best way to preserve Canada’s environment.
Fancy that? Who would have ever thought that Alan Saldanha would one day repeatedly listen to the soundtrack of Rocky to motivate himself.
Alan Saldanha is the Green candidate for Fleetwood-Port Kells.