Alan Saldanha: No to the seal hunt, yes to marijuana legalization

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      Editor's note (April 13): Alan Saldanha has resigned as the Green candidate for Fleetwood-Port Kells.

      My name is Alan Saldanha and I am standing for federal election from Fleetwood-Port Kells in Surrey.

      Nine days ago—last Sunday morning at 7 a.m.—I was angry with my Higher Power. I am the publisher and editor of a small biweekly newspaper with a circulation of 2,200. My paper is tottering, though it is flooded with ads. My rates for advertising are low.

      I only asked him to save my newspaper and my view to his plan was myopic. When I got back from morning church service, there was a voice at the other end of the telephone line. He asked me whether I would like to run in my own riding of Fleetwood-Port Kells.

      I grabbed it like Anthony Perkins would respond to a fly on a trajectory to his face.

      I am going to file my papers today and hopefully the 130 signatories nominating me for Fleetwood-Port Kells. I need just 100 though. I am a visible minority but 80 percent of the people who signed my nomination are Caucasian Canadian. I suppose Canadians like to support a small guy.

      This morning, I sent out an update of what came to my mind. I asked all my friends and supporters worldwide to flood the Facebooks of Pamela Anderson, Heather Mills, and Sandra Bullock and plead of them to send a message to my “No way to kill a baby seal campaign”. I think the government should stop supplying free alcohol to people who actively engage in clubbing seals in a way that would make Genghis Khan’s hordes blush with embarrassment. I wonder if any man would do what they do if he were sober.

      All you need is $18 million to support northern communities who are displaced if we stopped killing baby seals, and that can easily come from tax dollars from the legal sale of cannabis. Personally, I don’t fancy cannabis one bit. It makes me feel pukey. Cannabis is a $7 billion illegal sale in Canada. That is three times what Canada makes from wheat grain. I support cannabis sale on permits issued under stringent regulation. I suggest it cannot be smoked in cities, but five to 10 kilometres away on farms and people will be only able to ride transit to get there.

      And tax the hell out of it. Well, not quite—but make the end product cost less than what drug dealers charge.

      I hate what happened at Fukushima. I think robots should be programmed to approach rods of uranium and plutonium that have been heating up to hell-like temperatures because cooling systems have been paralysed. I feel bad for the Japanese people since I know them well. I used to do teacher-homestay for Japanese students. I am a Canadian qualified ESL teacher. The Japanese are the most resilient people on Earth and they will re-build their northeastern coast within 10 years, I think.

      I was told that there is a proposal to erect five nuclear plants in northern Alberta to provide power to run machinery and harness water for raping the tar sands. I am against that.

      The negative effects of global warming are a real threat to mankind. In 100 years, the snow will melt and having two-thirds of the world’s fossil oil reserves will be of no use at all.

      I personally think that we should link it to how it effects our dollar. This is how it might work: We exploit the tar sands at Fort McMurray and our dollar becomes stronger. It is now at US$1.03. A stronger dollar means lesser exports. Lesser exports means more unemployment. I think a dollar hanging around 95 cents US will be ideal.

      This morning, I make my first election promise to potential ethnic Punjabi students who are appearing for the Canadian citizenship test from anywhere in Canada. If I am elected I will give them free classes one morning in the week. And that applies if I am in Ottawa too. I have coached many ethnic students in the past. And every time I told them planting a tree is the best way to preserve Canada’s environment.

      Fancy that? Who would have ever thought that Alan Saldanha would one day repeatedly listen to the soundtrack of Rocky to motivate himself.

      Alan Saldanha is the Green candidate for Fleetwood-Port Kells.



      Darryl Robers

      Apr 5, 2011 at 3:26pm

      Good Luck Alan!!

      Please keep fighting for the seals and making the world a better place!!
      I wish you were in my riding, you would have my vote!

      Simon Pinombol

      Apr 5, 2011 at 4:56pm

      never allow amateurs dictate public policy, approach science within 50m, and run for office.


      Apr 5, 2011 at 5:01pm

      Alan, the dollar is not going up simply because Canada sells oil. True, it's a petro-dollar, but the largest factor in CAD's strength is America's addiction to purchasing it's own treasury bonds. (Monetizing debt/"quantitative easing")

      This is causing the value of real assets in the world, such as FOOD, to skyrocket. If as you suggest, we sabotage our Canadian currency to make it weaker than US dollars, the PEOPLE in Canada will be hit even harder with inflation.

      Decoupling is inevitable. Accept reality. If we do not leave America with it's trillions of unpayable debt behind, we WILL face food riots in Canada.

      Luckily, we've already started! Our mint just produced $4,000,000 worth of pure silver coins with a legal tender face value of $20. The mint then sold them to Canadian citizens for, get this.... $20! No tax, even free shipping from the mint.

      At current silver prices, these coins are ~45% backed, as they contain about a quarter ounce of silver. The Royal Canadian Mint says this is just the beginning of a line of coins they will produce.

      This is how China will be producing money in the near future, which is why for the last few years they've been creating government television shows to explain the value of gold and silver to Chinese citizens, and encourage them to accumulate it. After the USD crashes, China will begin a program to mint citizen's bars into coins, stamping a legal tender face value in Yuan on the coins. Pretty smart way to create money.

      John Soares

      Apr 5, 2011 at 6:58pm

      Alan, people will always agree or disagree with what you may have to say.

      As long as you are open and you listen and act honestly and sincerely in the larger Public Interest, you will definitely find your way to successfully representing the Citizens in a Great Democracy.

      Be bold and great forces will come to your aid.

      Good Luck in your campaign!

      Steve Y

      Apr 6, 2011 at 3:41am

      Birdy - Canada is getting dutch disease. For every barrel of oil we sell we sell one less manufactured good or piece of technology. Like a third world country, we are just selling our natural resources and not our hard work and ideas. We should not aspire to be saudi arabia with 30% + unemployment rate because all they do is sell oil.


      Apr 6, 2011 at 4:37pm

      re steve
      I didn't say we should aspire to be Saudi Arabia, that's a ridiculous jump. You can have the weakest currency in the world, but if the workers can't afford to eat food on a semi-regular basis, nothing will be exported.

      Speaking of third world countries, if the "weak currency = manufacturing growth" fallacy were true, wouldn't Zimbabwe be the manufacturing capital of the world?

      Gone gone gone

      Apr 13, 2011 at 5:02pm

      And he's out! Someone should have checked his Facebook page. Rape is never a joke, Mr. Saldanha.


      Apr 13, 2011 at 6:45pm

      I can't believe the Straight published this.

      Charlie Smith

      Apr 13, 2011 at 10:20pm

      It was published before the news erupted over his Facebook comments. We invited candidates to submit articles to so they would have a chance to get their messages out.

      Too often, we only hear from the leaders and high-profile candidates in federal campaigns. If you continue checking in on our website, you'll see lots of commentaries from other candidates.

      Charlie Smith
      Georgia Straight

      Another Falls

      Apr 14, 2011 at 1:11pm

      Why in the world would someone post something like that in such a public form and then want people to vote for them.

      A career ended before it could do any damage.