2005 in review - USA

America, the bountiful

An investigation by the Associated Press found that poor management of the US$5 billion 9/11 loan fund led to millions of dollars going to businesses that weren't affected by the attacks on New York, some of which never knew that was the source of the money they sought. Recipients included a radio station in South Dakota, a perfume shop in the Virgin Islands, a dog boutique in Utah, and an Oregon winery.

Who would Jesus whack?

American religious broadcaster and alleged man of God Pat Robertson used his television program to advocate the murder of Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez. "You know, I don't know about this doctrine of assassination, but if he thinks we're trying to assassinate him, I think we really ought to go ahead and do it. It's a whole lot cheaper than starting a war…and I don't think any oil shipments will stop." Following protests, Robertson claimed he was "misconstrued".

The pursuit of crappiness

"Being born in the elite in the U.S. gives you a constellation of privileges that very few people in the world have ever experienced. Being born poor in the U.S. gives you disadvantages unlike anything in Western Europe and Japan and Canada."-University of California, Berkeley, economist David I. Levine

Stop making sense

"There's a series of parts of the formula that are being considered. And when you couple that, those different cost drivers, affecting those-changing those with personal accounts, the idea is to get what has been promised more likely to be-or closer delivered to what has been promised. Does that make any sense to you? It's kind of muddled."-President George W. Bush, trying to explain to an audience in Tampa, Florida, his administration's plans to revamp social security

Leaker of the free world

Cameras at the 2005 World Summit captured a glimpse of a note written by President Bush to Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice during a Security Council meeting: "I think I may need a bathroom break. Is this possible?"

It's simple, if you don't think about it

"Don't buy gas if you don't need it."-President Bush's conservation advice to Americans facing high fuel prices in the weeks following Hurricane Katrina

Bush league

Media commentators began to criticize President Bush for calling his home in Crawford, Texas, a ranch, because so little ranching takes place there. According to Vanity Fair editor Graydon Carter: "Bush has made good use of the spread in his campaign to brand himself as a Teddy Roosevelt-like buckskin president. But when you're down to four or five head of cattle, and two of them reportedly have names-Ophelia and Eltonia-well, you can see why some people get all nitpicky."

(White) house music

A list of some of the 250-odd songs on President Bush's iPod that was printed in the New York Times included "Swinging From the Chains of Love" by Canada's Blackie and the Rodeo Kings. Band member Stephen Fearing commented: "I think what's interesting is, with politicians, there's the feeling that any facet of their life that might be scrutinized would be vetted. But I don't have a sense that this was vetted. If he was thinking about it and worrying about it at all, he wouldn't have put on 'My Sharona.'?"

No good deed goes unpunished

Wanita Renea Young, from a rural area south of Durango, Colorado, was awarded US$900 for medical expenses after she sued two teenage girls who had baked cookies and delivered them to her and other neighbours as a surprise. Young claimed she saw shadowy figures outside her home who pounded on the door and wouldn't identify themselves, so that she spent the night at her sister's and then went to the hospital in the morning because she was shaking and her stomach was upset. "The victory wasn't sweet. I'm not gloating about it. I just hope the girls learned a lesson," she said.

Acting governor

After several ballot measures he supported were soundly rejected by voters, California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger seemed to admit he had made a misjudgment. "If I was to make another Terminator movie, I would tell Terminator to go back in time to tell Arnold not to have another special election," he said.

Freedom of the pressed

Shortly after President Bush announced in a speech that achieving victory in Iraq would include supporting a "free, independent and responsible Iraq media" and promised to help that country's government communicate in an effective and open manner, it was revealed that the U.S. military was paying Iraq newspapers and journalists to run favourable stories about the occupation and rebuilding.

My country, right a wrong

U.S. Congressman John Mutha, a decorated combat veteran who spent 37 years in the marines, called for an end to the war in Iraq, calling it "mishandled from the very start" and pointing out that "there was no terror there before we went in," and calling it "A flawed policy wrapped in an illusion".

Be a bit of what you can be

In order to cut attrition rates, the authority to expel recruits for drug abuse, poor fitness, and pregnancy was removed from U.S. battalion commanders and elevated to the brigade level. One battalion commander was quoted anonymously in the Wall Street Journal on how this lack of direct control over the troops might degrade the quality of a unit. "It is the guys on weight control…school no-shows, drug users, etc., who eat up my time and cause my hair to grey prematurely…Often they have more than one of those issues simultaneously."

Unclassifiable

In order to support the precise use of language throughout the chain of command, the U.S. Department of Defense Dictionary of Military and Associated Terms has been compiled into a document of more than 700 pages. For example, nickname: "A combination of two separate unclassified words that is assigned an unclassified meaning and is employed only for unclassified administrative, morale or public information purposes."

The old college try

"Don't cheerleaders all over America form pyramids six to eight times a year? Is that torture?"-Guy Womack, lawyer for one of the soldiers charged with abusing Iraqi prisoners at the Abu Ghraib prison, in his opening statement to the jury

Esprit de corpse

"Actually, it's quite a lot of fun to fight; you know, it's a hell of a hoot. I like brawling; it's fun to shoot some people."-U.S. Marine Corps Lt.-Gen. James Mattis

I call the big one "bitey"

"People come in here and cry on my shoulder. They feel ashamed, even traumatized, to have these invisible vampires living in their home. Rats, even VD, is more socially acceptable than bedbugs."-Andy Linares, owner of a Manhattan pest-control company, quoted in the New York Times on an infestation of the parasites sweeping the city

Smashing the state

"It is with acts of vandalism that juvenile delinquents proclaim their manhood, and what else is the Bush administration's record over the last five years if not a testimony to its talent for breaking things?"-Harper's magazine editor Lewis H. Lapham

Stranger in a strange land

"We're getting shown a lot of love, but we're also getting a lot of stares, like we're aliens or something. Am I the only person out here with dreadlocks?"-Shelvin Cooter, a New Orleans resident relocated to a National Guard camp south of Salt Lake City, Utah

The zeal of the converted

"Hurricane Katrina showed how bad disasters can be, and there's an incredible need for individuals and businesses to understand how important preparedness is."-Michael Brown, the much-criticized former head of FEMA who came from a background of arranging horse shows, announcing that he was starting a disaster-preparedness consulting firm after resigning from the federal disaster-relief agency

Connecting the blots

"If this disaster doesn't lead us into a national conversation on the subjects of class, race, urban planning, the environment, Iraq, and oil, then we have failed."-NBC news anchor Brian Williams, quoted in Vanity Fair on the New Orleans Hurricane Katrina flood

Voodoo economics

"What you can do is guarantee me [that] in two months you're going to have a Mardis Gras but you can't guarantee life will be back on?"-ChiQuita Simms, a New Orleans refugee living in Atlanta, protesting plans to stage a scaled-down, eight-day Mardis Gras in February to revive tourism and lift morale in New Orleans

The big queasy

"They're drowning in their living rooms and their bodies are rotting where they drowned. And there are corpses in the street being eaten by rats, and this is the United States of America."-CNN reporter Anderson Cooper, covering the flooding in New Orleans

Every seat a good seat

"What I'm hearing, which is sort of scary, is they all want to stay in Texas. Everyone is so overwhelmed by the hospitality. And so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway, so this, this is working very well for them."-Former First Lady Barbara Bush, on the relocated Louisiana flood refugees warehoused in the Astrodome in Houston, Texas

Sundry grievances

Budget woes in Erie County, New York, an area that includes the city of Buffalo, meant that workers in some municipal buildings had to bring their own soap and toilet paper to work. "It's almost humorous, but it's disgusting," said 21-year employee Bob Fioretti, adding: "it's like working in another country, a bad country."