2: Another disturbing gift for Christmas: David Lynch ringtones

On the second day of Christmas...

For the truly last-minute gift, consider stealing a loved one's cellphone and downloading a David Lynch ring tone.

Yes, they'll drop to their knees in gratitude the next time their phone goes not with the boring old bring-bring but rather an unexpectedly sprightly "I am the Doctor. I am the Doctor. I am the Doctor." High-larity, indeed. (Note: make sure you pay them back the US$3.99. Ditto, make sure their carrier is compatible.)

Disturbingly, the DL store contains all kinds of stuff from the fevered brain of the man Mel Brooks once called "Jimmy Stewart from Mars". I'm particularly partial to the "Distorted Nudes" book: I can only imagine the joy on some lucky sucker's face after unwrapping that puppy on Christmas morn.

No, don't thank me. (But I will thank Steven Beattie for the link.)

On the first day of Christmas.