Hot List

The holidays aren’t strictly for spending beyond your means, waging family wars, and making an ass of yourself at staff Christmas parties. ’Tis also the season for getting monster drunk on sickly-sweet peppermint shooters at any number of local hot spots, all of which have plenty going on this time of year.

Thursday, December 7
Party at the Peak at the Roxy Nightclub

Can’t wait to see if Santa got you those new bindings you’ve had your eye on? Head down to the Roxy, where they’ll be giving away a shitload of snowboarding gear. The mountains wait for no one.

Friday, December 8
Get Boobs at the Ocean Beach Club and Grill

White Rock’s premier booty club just became every neofeminist’s worst nightmare and every AA’s last hope. Every Friday starting tomorrow (December 8) to January 26, 10 women will qualify for the big draw for $5,000 toward breast enhancements.

Saturday, December 9
Fred Everything at Ginger 62

As a celebrated deep-house guru, this Montreal-based DJ clearly knows the pitfalls of his profession. His MySpace tag line reads “Ears don’t fail me now.” Last we checked he still had his hearing, so this show is a go.

Wednesday, December 13
20th Annual Fire Fighters’ Calendar-signing Party at the Cellar

If getting your left cheek signed by a topless fireman isn’t the sweetest way to get ready for the J-man’s b-day, we don’t know what is. All proceeds go to Vancouver Hospital’s burn unit.

Thursday, December 14
Night School at the Mirage

Screw student loans; it’s better to have debt collectors haunting you for the rest of your life. (Why do you think there isn’t a byline on this article?) If you choose to pay back the piper, however, there are better ways than slaving away in a dish pit. This students-only event will be giving away $5,000 toward tuition fees.

Friday, December 15
Eclipse Sauder Party at the Plaza Club

Leave exam hell behind and enjoy a night of cruising for some really meaningful hook-ups. Aside from burning your textbooks in an ancient pagan ritual, we can’t think of a better way to celebrate the end of this semester.

Saturday, December 16
Ciara and Keshia Chanté Album-release party at Plush Nightclub

Two rising pop stars. One release party. One thousand hip-hop ?fanatics. Need we say more?

Wednesday, December 20
Mariah Night at Celebrities

All those embittered Mariah Carey fans who wrote strongly worded letters in response to the Straight’s concert review last September can exorcise their impotent rage at this all-night homage to Mimi. Fake boobs, eerily plastic-looking skin, and Betty Ford Center frequent-flyer cards are optional.

Thursday, December 21
Five Alarm Funk at the Annual Christmas Party: Appreciation Night at the Caprice

Nothing says thank you for your patronage quite like complimentary drinks (till 10:30 p.m.) combined with two hours of sweat-drenched funk. The good folks at the Caprice are obviously hip to this.