WHO ARE YOU? "Mike Lacasse. Yes, those are real dice in my ear, so don't ask me anymore!"

IN MY 9-TO-5 LIFE I'M A: "Kitchen manager/day manager/bartender/server/prep-cook/dishwasher-a modern-day hero."

IF YOU'RE BUYING, I'LL HAVE: "A Guinness or bourbon-depends on the day."

THE BEST SHOW I EVER SAW WAS: "The Buzzcocks in Toronto. The venue was packed with people ranging from 19 to 55 years old, and there was barely enough room to move to the bar and back. My friend and I were hanging out backstage after the show and the power went out, so she decided to steal a bottle of champagne from the ice bin. The lights came back on and we were caught red-handed. [Buzzcocks' bassist] Tony Barber thought it was funny and shared it with us."

I WISH PEOPLE WOULD SHUT UP ABOUT: "How elite their little cliques are. Get a life and grow up; we're adults. I thought we were over high school by now."

THE LAST CONCERT T-SHIRT I BOUGHT WAS: "At Motí¶rhead's 30th-anniversary tour at the Commodore. I got it because you never know when they'll be back or when they're gonna kick the bucket. Plus a few beers probably helped justify spending $40 on a flimsy T-shirt."

IN THE MOVIE OF MY LIFE, I'D BE PLAYED BY: "This is a tough one... Maybe Johnny Depp. If he can imitate somebody as brilliant as Hunter S. Thompson then he might be able to act out me”¦ Fuck! I'm lame."

AN AVERAGE NIGHT INVOLVING GUINNESS OR BOURBON HAS BEEN SPENT: "With good friends who've all made it back to their homes with minimal bruising, cuts, broken limbs, missing teeth, arrests, eviction notices, and beer-goggle incidents. Cheers to those who have been there for some of them."