WHO ARE YOU? "Pat Jenkins".

IN MY 9-TO-5 LIFE I'M A: "Student. I go to Cap College and work up at Grouse Mountain. But that is boring, so I'll say something cool like I'm a ninja cheese inspector. Yeah, I'm a ninja cheese inspector. Jealous?"

IF YOU'RE BUYING, I'LL HAVE: "Beer, beer, beer. But I'm not picky: if only they made liquid cheese, I'd be all over that. Cheese is delicious."

THE BEST SHOW I EVER SAW WAS: "Tom Green and the Keepin' It Real Crew at the Commodore, obviously. Also CKY last year was wicked, plus Foo Fighters, Audioslave, and Green Day rocked my socks."

I WISH PEOPLE WOULD SHUT UP ABOUT: "Increasing gas prices. Why don't you whine about decreasing dairy prices for once! Cows slave away 24/7 to pump out milk and cheese for you ungrateful fools."

THE LAST CONCERT T-SHIRT I BOUGHT WAS: "A Listen to CKY shirt at the CKY concert. It's a pretty rad shirt."

IN THE MOVIE OF MY LIFE, I'D BE PLAYED BY: "Hilary Duff, because she is really hot and I would rather watch a movie starring a hot babe."

YOU JUMPED ON-STAGE IN YOUR COW OUTFIT AND DID LOTS OF KARATE MOVES BECAUSE: "Chicks dig it. I lost the head to the costume but the ninja bandanna is a pretty damn sexy replacement for it. It is a fun thing to wear around the city because, apparently, people are surprised to see a cow walking around. I don't understand why people always ask me why I'm wearing it, though. It's as if they are expecting me to have some deep reason like world peace or something. I just like to dress up as a cow!"