Vevo wants to drag us into the past

You know when you’re flipping around on YouTube or whatever, watching anything you want for however long you want to, and you think to yourself, “gee, I really miss limited choices and being condescended to while advertisers try to possess that which makes me human, my very soul. ...I miss TV.”

That doesn’t happen to you?  Funny, me neither!

Well, the big brains over at Vevo have decided that the world is ready to bring TV back. All the instant gratification and personally curated entertainment at a low cost is just a flash in the pan, apparently, too much power for the dum-dum masses.

“There’s no algorithms allowed,” Vevo executive Doug McVehil said at their presentation at South By Southwest. Their big selling point is that their channels will be human programmed, all the time. “When you tune in, you might see the latest video form Rihanna, might see a classic live performance from Kayne West here at South By Southwest or you might see that 11-minute ‘November Rain’ video you haven’t seen in 100 years. We’re coming up with ideas to keep you guessing and keep you entertained.”

Uh huh.

Let me get this straight: I’ve finally dropped my cable, which I never watched, because, you know, the Internet, in order to save myself the 80 bucks I was spending every month on a blank TV screen (oh, except when Netflix is on. Eight bucks a month). Now you want me start paying again for something which I just spent eight or so years realizing was a waste of money and was killing my life, so that I can watch endless reels of mediocre drivel that plays 24/7 everywhere else already? Wow, you never know what might come on, maybe Taylor Swift, ooh, maybe Jay-Z!

The one saving grace of television was that you could change the channel when something you didn't like came on, and Vevo won't even provide that. Which begs the question: why is this a good idea?