Katy Perry promises nothing but "soft-serve sexiness" for Super Bowl show

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      Screw the football games—what people have remembered most about recent Super Bowls are the half-time performances. With the possible exception of Raymond Babbitt, no one has a clue who the combatants were when Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake teamed up for Super Bowl XXXVIII, but they remember Nipplegate like it happened yesterday.

      Same for M.I.A. flipping the bird to America during Super Bowl XLVI, Michael Jackson repeatedly grabbing his nutty buddies in 1993, and Prince being accused of whacking off his guitar behind a sheet at Super Bowl XLI. (For those more interested in technical descriptions, the NFL argues of the latter that diminutive Roger Nelson attacked his guitar “as if stroking an erect oversized phallus in a manner reminiscent of Jimi Hendrix.”).

      Given the long and sordid history of half-time performances at America’s biggest sporting event, you can imagine the excitement around the world when it was announced that Katy Perry will provide the half-time musical entertainment at this year’s game. After all, this is the same woman who, a few months back, flew around Rogers Arena in a good-enough-to-eat contraption labelled Katy’s Taco. And let’s not forget being deep-sixed by Sesame Street for repeatedly shoving her barely-concealed boobs into Elmo’s face.

      Perhaps looking to head off controversy before it even starts, though, Perry has promised Billboard that her half-time Super Bowl show will provide nothing but good, clean, family-friendly fun. This presumably meaning that she won’t be bringing her famous whipping-cream-spurting bra to the party.

      “Everything I’ve done in my career hasn’t been blatant this or that," Perry told Billboard. "It’s always with a wink. It’s a soft-serve sexiness. My intention is that everyone talks about the music and nothing else. ... Sometimes you can’t control other people. But I will control myself.”

      In less-interesting news, the singer is also claiming that she told the NFL to stuff it when it suggested that she pay for the right to play this year's Super Bowl, taking place at the University Of Phoenix Stadium in Arizona on February 1.

      Perry states: "I said, 'Look guys, here's where I draw a line in the sand.' I want to be invited on my own merits and not with some fine print. I stuck to my position."