Homeless in Vancouver: The early birds get my sandwich

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      Working on my blog in McDonald’s I can still keep an eye on my bike and trailer. And I should.

      A few weeks ago I was McBlogging and a seat neighbour pointed out a woman on the street. He told me that she had just put something on my trailer.

      She looked normal enough, so I paid no mind to what she may or may not have left.

      Only when I exited the restaurant and unlocked my bike did I see what she had left: a hole.

      She had stolen a bag of tools—wrenches, tire levers, a lot of hose clamps.

      To get the bag she’d had to reach under the black plastic I bungee over the contents of my trailer. She wouldn’t have known what she had, only that it was heavy. I’m still replacing that stuff.

      My fault for not paying better attention.

      The crows sure liked the sandwich

      Today I was similarly working on my blog under the Golden Arches. I looked over to check my trailer and thought I saw a lighter triangular shape.

      Had someone left something on top of the black plastic or was that a trick of the light?

      Going out and checking means leaving my laptop unattended and again, like with the lady tool thief, it didn’t seem important enough.

      When I looked up a minute or so later, I could see the triangular shape was a diagonally sliced and cling-wrapped sandwich. That's because now it was on the ground where a crow was picking at the cling wrap with its beak.

      More crows showed up and the inverse-proportion rule concerning sandwiches and crows quickly played out before my eyes. At the end, pigeons came in and cleaned up the small stuff. A seagull may even have eaten the cling wrap.

      I think it was an egg salad sandwich. That’s what it looked like from where I was sitting. I like those.

      Stanley Q. Woodvine
      Stanley Q. Woodvine
      Stanley Q. Woodvine
      Stanley Q. Woodvine

      Stanley Q. Woodvine is a homeless resident of Vancouver who has worked in the past as an illustrator, graphic designer, and writer.


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      May 18, 2014 at 2:46pm

      There must be a lot of kleptomaniacs in this town stealing everything from a to z thats not bolted down.

      Stanley Q Woodvine

      May 18, 2014 at 9:01pm


      Yes. A lot. Then there are others who have bolt cutters.