Felindr Cat of the Week: Cornelius, from Planet of the Cats

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      Welcome to Felindr, the Georgia Straight's feline adoption web feature.  

      Each profile is of an eligible catchelor or catchelorette from VOKRA, the non-profit Vancouver Orphan Kitten Rescue Association dedicated to the rescue of cats in the Lower Mainland.

      Name: Cornelius, from The Planet of the Cats movies

      Profession: Ruler of Cat City, scientist, movie star

      I'm seeking: a human I can rule with my charming and affectionate ways

      Physical description: When humans hear my name, they often mistakenly assume I am a chimpanzee but that's because they went to see the wrong movie.

      Ethnicity: Felinese

      Want kids? Uh, why would I want baby goats?

      Smoke: Intellectuals like myself don't have time to smoke.

      Drink: Who came up with these questions? A human? 

      Faith: As an archaeologist and historian, I fear I have begun to harbour doubts about the legitimacy of the Sacred Feline Scrolls. Particularly since cats can't read or write.

      Why would anyone want to watch a movie about apes fighting humans when they could just sit and watch something far more interesting: me?

      My conversational interests: debating which came first: the kitten or the cat; discussing what legal role felines could serve in a kangaroo court; wondering if a cat tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, can it still be used to play on afterwards?

      My purrsonality: serene, due to daily meditation practise (my purr is my mantra)

      My hobbies: reading the works of international philosopurrs such as Catistotle, Immanuel Cat, Catfucius, Socates, Albert Catmus, Meow-Tzu, Niccolò Meowchiavelli, Michel Purrcault, and René Descates

      My likes: making worldly observations and contemplating their implications (by looking out the window)

      My dislikes: low IQs

      Don't make me beg to be pet, human.

      My motto: "Beware the beast Man, for he is the Devil's pawn. Alone among God's primates, he kills for sport or lust or greed. Yea, he will murder his brother to possess his brother's land. Let him not breed in great numbers, for he will make a desert of his home and yours. Shun him; drive him back into his jungle lair, for he is the harbinger of death."
      Or to put it more concisely: "Meow."

      My expectations of a relationship: Me ruler, you servant. I trust that is clear enough, my loving human friend.

      To learn more about Cornelius, click here

      VOKRA's mission is to end cat overpopulation and homelessness. To learn more, or to fill out an adoption application form, visit their website.