Rider suggests that Jack White gets paid well and likes his guacamole chunky

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      As any fool knows, you don’t put brown M&Ms in Van Halen’s candy bowl, dare forget Ted Nugent’s Red Bull, or stock Kanye West’s backstage bathroom with anything less than Neutrogena dandruff shampoo.

      And, while we’re on the subject, what kind of idjit would dare serve Jack White an inferior dip like Dean’s Zesty Guacamole? You either make the former White Stripe’s guac by hand, or you get a thrashing that would make Jason Stollsteimer blanche.

      Yes, according to his recently leaked tour rider document, White has a serious thing for guacamole. He also, evidently, isn’t overly thrilled about the world knowing: a) that he likes his guacamole handmade; b) he needs an iron, ironing board, and Jiffy brand steamer for his clothes; and c) what he gets paid for an honest night’s work.

      These requests and more were revealed recently by the University of Oklahoma’s student newspaper. 

      Under a headline title “'We want it chunky' and other gems from Jack White's contact with OU", the Oklahoma Daily printed White’s rider in full. For those curious, the alt-icon got paid $80,000 for a University of Oklahoma set that clocked in at two-and-a-half hours. 

      White’s contract also outlined a fairly elaborate guacamole recipe which was expected to be followed in full, right down to the full bunch of cilantro. 

      Highlights of said recipe include: “…careful not to mush the avocados too much. We want it chunky. Once properly mixed and tested, add the pits into the guacamole and even out the top with a spoon or a spatula. Add 1/2 lime to the top layer so you cover most of the surface with the juice. (The pits and lime will keep it from browning).”

      It was initially reported that White was angry enough that his booking agency, William Morris Endeavour Entertainment, intended to blacklist the school. (William Morris’ artist’s include Weezer, the Foo Fighters, and, in horrible news for "mature students" the—ahem—Backstreet Boys.)

      White’s people have since said that there is no ban, and that the singer blames the paper, not the students and fans, stating the reporting from The Oklahoma Daily staff was “unfortunate, unprofessional, and very unwelcoming”

      Proving White—and his people—have a sense of humour, the issued statement also includes: “By the way, now that it’s out there, we recommend you try Lalo’s guacamole recipe. It’s delicious.”

      You can see the whole rider here

      Comments

      3 Comments

      out at night

      Feb 6, 2015 at 8:48pm

      I've bent time and space to fulfill hospitality riders for musicians and will be doing some kitchen gymnastics tomorrow morning for a band playing tomorrow night (even though I'm up late at show right now, and last night, and the night before...). I look at it this way: touring is tough and you cannot afford to get sick or feel flat 'cause someone couldn't be bothered to follow a rider to the letter. Not only do I find all this searching high and low for the exact right kind of cheese or energy bar kinda fun and challenging, but it makes the artists real happy and a happy artist = a happy audience, and THAT is what it's all about!

      Pat Crowe

      Feb 6, 2015 at 10:08pm

      Peter Gabriel's rider insists on a "Hippy style" massage prior to each show. Then adds that "a relaxed performer is a happy performer."
      How do Hippy's do massage that's different from a normal masseuse or masseure?
      And I don't want a dirty, goddamn, Hippy touching me!
      Peter! You're a freak!!

      M&M

      Feb 7, 2015 at 10:56am

      The Van halen m&m rider wasn't about the candy.

      The tucked that in between the lights and stage load bearing part to make sure the promoters read the rider. Their stage show had the biggest lighting array of the time and they actually collapsed part of the stage at MSG so they they put the M&m clause in there .

      If there was a brown M&M in any bowl they knew the rider was not read and it was not safe to perform and they didn't have to pay the stadium.