Trump's inauguration line-up sucks

After rumours flew today that Flo Rida might have accepted Donald Trump's offer to perform at his inauguration for a cool $1 million, eyes have turned to the rest of the line-up.

The headliners confirmed so far are country artist Toby Keith, and southern rock band 3 Doors Down. Singer Jennifer Holliday had previously been reported to be performing, but recent comments from her team suggest that she still hasn’t committed.

The biggest names linked to Trump’s inauguration are those who have turned down the President-elect, with acts like Elton John, Céline Dion, Garth Brooks, and Andrea Bocelli all publically snubbing the Republican.

Not only does the ceremony sound like the lamest party on the planet, Trump’s professional spin doctors can't even make his shoddy line-up look good.

“What we’ve done, instead of trying to surround him with what people consider A-listers, is we are going to surround him with the soft sensuality of the place”, Tom Barrack, the chairman of Trump’s inaugural committee, said this week.

Because Trump is all about soft sensuality. Obviously.

Continuing the same line, Barrack concluded that the inauguration would have a “much more poetic cadence than having a circus-like celebration that’s a coronation”, because "that’s the way this president-elect wanted it.”

Because Donald is clearly a particularly poetic individual.

Further line-up announcements will doubtless drip into the media until Trump's inauguration on Friday (January 20). Given that we'll inevitably tune in for the ceremony, we can only hope Trump manages to find somebody worth watching.

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