Arcade Fire will not allow shorts or flip flops to darken the doors of their Brooklyn show

Arcade Fire want people attending their concert to dress up like they’re “going to a concert” and they’re serious about it!

Having apparently learned nothing of the internet’s ruthless appetite for vitriol and mockery since the last time they requested fans adhere to a dress code, the Montrealers announced that they are once again enforcing a strict set of rules for attire at Thursday night’s Everything Now release show, and they “reserve the right” to deny entry to anyone who missed the memo.

Ticketholders for the Brooklyn show were notified that the theme for the night is HIP & TRENDY, “as if you are going to a concert or night out with friends!” While they certainly hit the nail on the head when describing the activity (“as if“), it soon became clear that Arcade Fire’s idea of “going to a concert” doesn’t include wearing flip flops, shorts, large logos, tank tops, crop tops, baseball hats, and solid red or white clothing.

Many questions arise from this specific list of unacceptable garments. Are snapbacks baseball hats? Can I wear a beanie? Are red and white acceptable in non-solid, pattern form? Why are other solids okay? Has the group been wronged in the past by a man wearing flip flops, shorts, and a baseball hat with a large logo on it? Are the members of Arcade Fire doing okay?

Twitter has of course taken this announcement to do what it does best by roasting the shit out of Arcade Fire, brainstorming how to violate the dress code by wearing a lobster bib or sneaking in with tear-off cargo & pants and transitioning to shorts halfway through the show.

Sadly, those of us not in attendance may never know what the Fire’s vision for a HIP & TRENDY concert or night out with friends will look like, because the event is billed as a “PHONE-FREE VIEWING EXPERIENCE” and “upon arrival, all phones and smart watches will be secured in Yondr pouches that will be unlocked at the end of the show.” I had to look up what a Yondr pouch is and to my great disappointment they are a real thing, not an attempt by AF management to add Shakespearean gravitas to the announcement.

While a 2013 request for formal attire met with such intense pushback that the band had to announce that everyone should chill out because it was “super not mandatory,” this time around it seems they are less able to craft a logical dress code and are also going to be far less chill about enforcing it. The lucky winners of the tickets should feel free to enjoy the show but would be advised to show up with real shoes, God damn it, or they may lose their phone-free viewing experience privileges.