Cover Me Canada: Warren Dean Flandez dominates the shit out of week three

    1 of 1 2 of 1

      Did you catch it? Warren Dean Flandez on Cover Me Canada, I mean? The diminutive soul man with the Malcolm Gladwell hair came out of his left-field victory over the flu last week to completely pound the competition on Sunday. And super-villain Ron Fair was wetting himself more than anybody over the ballsy, minimalist version of “Sometimes When We Touch” that Flandez cooked up.

      “So much incredible stuff just went down in the last 90 seconds!” Fair exclaimed, pounding his fist on the desk, spittle flying from his mouth like hot yak spray. “You came with restraint, and taste… you tore the roof off of that song. It was gorgeous.” Finally, he added, “Other than Deborah Cox, it makes you the greatest soul singer to ever come from Canada. This is your show!”

      Ron Fair is wrong about a lot of things. But he’s right this time. Flandez, meanwhile, reacted to Fair’s live nationwide orgasm with even more restraint and taste.

      “I’m really happy about last night,” the Vancouverite told the Straight on Monday, speaking from Toronto in a measured and somewhat uncertain tone, “but I’m strange. I take criticism better than I take compliments. I always have this mentality that I’m the underdog, and really, after that happened, I got really emotional. I don’t know if it showed on camera, but I turned away and popped my sunglasses on.”

      If the ridiculously talented singer feels like an underdog, it’s probably because—as Fair also pointed out—Canada isn’t really “a great place for R&B.” Our newly appointed greatest ever soul singer isn’t about to disagree.

      “You know what? He’s right,” says Flandez, noting that his social media score was rock bottom for the first week of the competition. “I’m not as popular as the folk, and country, and rock acts, but it’s growing,” he says, “and it’s proving there is a market for it. A lot of our R&B artists have gone south or to Europe, because that’s where the opportunity is, and I commend people like Divine Brown and Jully Black, and those who are here sticking it out. Cause it’s not easy. You don’t do those little hop-in-the-van tours in the BC interior with R&B and soul.”

      Not yet, anyway. “What can I say?” offers Flandez. “I’m here to change that. It’s why I’m on the show!”

      Meanwhile, the Simpson Brothers were voted off on Sunday, sending the boys back to their Tsawwassen home. We’re calling bullshit on that—if there was anything like natural justice, Whosarmy would have been booted for taking such a huge and nasty dump all over “Hot Child in the City”. I wouldn’t have stopped at kicking them off the show either; I would have insisted on splitting the band up and making them all live in different cities while they penned individual apologies to Nick Gilder. What an outrage.

      You can follow Adrian Mack's contribution to the lobotomizing techno-nightmare known as Twitter at @AdrianMacked.




      Oct 5, 2011 at 4:48pm

      Wow... I'm so glad Warren is FINALLY getting the cred he so deserves!! However, Adrian Mack is it? Why be so fucking rude about the Simpson Brothers? I see no need to knock them down in such an over zealous manner. Have you ever been criticized before? Do you know what it is to make art and to have a dick like you SHIT all over it in a few unkind words? Probably not.... Didn't your mama teach you any manners?

      Adrian Mack

      Oct 5, 2011 at 5:02pm

      Um, Hi JWP!

      I was actually taking an over zealous dick-shit on Whosarmy.

      I wasn't commenting on the Simpson Brothers, who I interviewed, and who I quite like, thanks. I simply mentioned that they were voted off. I think you need to slow down a bit when you read.


      Oct 5, 2011 at 6:26pm

      I've been Macked.

      What a deliciously vulgar article. Nice job. :)

      Founder of the Warrentourage signing off.


      Oct 5, 2011 at 7:44pm

      Pardon me... You are right... This is me repeating my first sentiments, but replacing the Simpson Brothers with Whosarmy. You're still unnecessarily mean.

      Adrian Mack

      Oct 5, 2011 at 8:19pm

      "You're still unnecessarily mean."

      Well, sure, I'm not gonna argue about that.

      kotten kruiz

      Oct 6, 2011 at 12:12am

      I'm gonna travel round the city in this big ole car! I'm gonna go up to the floor on the #44, I got my big hat, it's crushin my corly cues! Don't be confused!

      Patti Powell

      Oct 6, 2011 at 1:05am

      Sorry, Adrian, I have to disagree with you about a couple of things. Ron Fair seems to be the only judge with anything concrete and intelligent to say. Sometimes he has to be honest and hurt some feelings, but my take is that he's been right. I guess he's getting slotted as the "Canadian Simon Cowell" or something, but he's smarter and less mean.
      The other thing I would quibble with is Who's Army's rendition of "Hot Child in the City". What exactly was your issue with their take on it? I thought it was one of the more pure rock n' roll moments of the night.
      I will agree with you wholeheartedly about Warren Dean Flandez's performance. He's a unique performer and a genuine one. There's no one else near him in terms of showing soul and vulnerability on the show. He's definitely got an uphill battle with so many fans not "getting" R&B. He's the best thing about the show, in my opinion.

      Thanks for the coverage. Can't believe I'm into this, but I have to admit, I wouldn't be watching if it weren't for Warren.


      Oct 6, 2011 at 1:57am

      Warren may have seen like the underdog at first, but now he's showing CMC and the rest of Canada that he's top-do material!
      Soul is back.
      Warren's making sure we know that!
      Congrats on the props, truly deserved!

      Kim Il-Sung

      Oct 10, 2011 at 5:30pm

      Great voice, but why is he dressed up as Kim Jong il?