Rumours of the demise of Chuck Biscuits have evidently been greatly exaggerated. Earlier today, everyone from AbsolutePunk.net to Entertainment Weekly reported that the former D.O.A. drummer—who left the music business in 1999—had died of throat cancer on October 24 after a long illness.
The “death” was reported by blogger James Greene Jr., who wrote that he had spent the past six months corresponding via e-mail with Biscuits and his wife. In the hours after the story went viral, Greene’s website, www.jgtwo.wordpress.com was bombarded with posts demanding proof of the death.
The Straight contacted Biscuit’s former bandmate Joey Keithley, singer-guitarist of D.O.A.. He confirmed that Biscuits is very much alive.
"It was a cruel Internet hoax—it was ridiculous," Keithley said. "His brother did talk to him yesterday afternoon."
In the meantime, Greene has evidently accepted that he was the victim of an elaborate prank. On his Web site, he wrote the following after being bashed repeatedly for posting the death notice despite having nothing to go on except for emails from people purporting to be Biscuits and his wife.
Greene wrote: How do you “check hard facts” or “verify” anything about a guy who went off grid ten years ago and the people who allegedly knew him best won’t return your e-mails? I tried, you guys, I really fuckin’ tried. I spent a good chunk of ”˜08 searching for Chuck and info on Chuck. All I got was Bill Goddamn Stevenson. No one was talking.
”I wrote a thing about Biscuits anyway and then, out the blue, some fucker calling himself by that name who looks like the guy on the record sleeves starts corresponding with me. What the fuck am I supposed to do? Call shenanigans? Whatever happened to trust? Who would lie about being Chuck Biscuits? Especially to a piece of “vermin” like me on the lowest rung of the totem pole?
”Has anyone ever lied to you for six months about being a terminally ill hero of your musical youth? It’s fucking weird. You think I wasn’t devastated when I read the e-mail the other day that announced his “death?” That’s why I wrote this blog in the first place. I wanted to give CB the obit I knew he deserved. I knew there’d be source questions, but what was I supposed to do, e-mail his “wife” back and be like, “Hey, can you send me pics of the body?” I had no suspicions. I thought I had this shit on lock down. Who would lie to a NOBODY blogger about this kind of thing for so long?
”It’s easy to attack me in hindsight, but again – this had been going on since May. Who the fuck lies about being a dying Chuck Biscuits for half a year? Are my friends/enemies smart enough to hack enough related e-mail accounts to perpetrate something like this? I just want to know how it happened.
”I’d also like some more conclusive proof that Chuck isn’t dead aside from e-mails from people whose existence I can’t further verify.