News for Youse: Trudeau says Peter Kent is “a piece of shit”

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      Today’s top story—super-sexy Liberal MP Justin Trudeau yelled “You piece of shit!” at Peter Kent during the last session of Parliament yesterday, as the environment minister bickered with the NDP’s Megan Leslie over his performance at the Durban climate change summit.

      He later apologized for his outburst although Trudeau remains curiously unremorseful over his involvement with late ‘80s eurodance sensation Army of Lovers. News for Youse, meanwhile, will keep readers updated on whether or not Peter Kent really is a piece of shit.

      U.S. defense secretary Leon Panetta dropped in on Baghdad today to announce the formal end to the “war” in Iraq, which media in general commemorated by underestimating the number of Iraqi dead (“tens of thousands,” according to Reuters), but only by a mere 900 thousand or so ( “Over One Million Iraqi Deaths Caused by US Occupation”— Project Censored, 2009.)

      A related story in the New York Times yesterday details how secret transcripts from an internal investigation into the slaughtering of Iraqis in Haditha by Marines in 2005 were found in a junkyard outside of Baghdad—a massacre described in the report by one general as “a cost of doing business.”

      “They could not understand why so many Iraqis just did not stop at checkpoints and speculated that it was because of illiteracy or poor eyesight,” reads the report. Back at home, lawyers for Jerry Sandusky made their own robust attempt to blame the victim by arguing that the former Penn State assistant coach wasn’t serially raping kids in a shower, but teaching them “hygiene”.

      Attorney Karl Rominger told Pennsylvania’s ABC27 News, "Teaching a person to shower at the age of 12 or 14 sounds strange to some people, but people who work with troubled youth will tell you there are a lot of juvenile delinquents and people who are dependent who have to be taught basic life skills like how to put soap on their body."

      This follows an attack by lawyers on the credibility of Mike McQueary, who blew the whistle on the ongoing cover-up at Penn State after he witnessed Sandusky forcing basic life skills on a prepubescent boy. Addressing those of us “naive enough” to believe that officials at the university—including president Graham Spanier—would fail to protect children from a serial predator, attorney Joseph Amendola dismissively remarked, “I suggest you dial 1-800-REALITY.”

      Turns out that a writer at Deadspin.com did dial 1-800-REALITY and discovered that it's a real 1-800 number for a gay phone sex line. Oopsies!

      If all this dread and horror, not to mention inadvertent black comedy, is getting you down, why not allow your imagination to wander to the sunny South Pacific island paradise of Tuvalu, where a canoe carrying the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge will be borne aloft on the shoulders of young islanders dressed in skirts of coconut fibre. The young royals are scheduled to visit Tuvalu as part of next year’s diamond jubilee celebrations—and you’re not, suckers. Happy holidays!

      Comments

      6 Comments

      John Billstrom

      Dec 15, 2011 at 3:46pm

      Justin Trudeau is a piece of shit! The LIEberialS failed to solve pollution problems, increased oil production, started tar sands oil production, and did nothing to fulfill Kyoto. Super-sexy? I do not agree, but good for you for comeing out Mr Mack!

      Jim Van Rassel

      Dec 15, 2011 at 4:42pm

      Well then that makes Prime Minister Stephen Harper a "Sack of Shit!" being Environment Minister Peter Kent is a "piece of shit".
      Jim Van Rassel
      Coquitlam BC

      bill mack

      Dec 15, 2011 at 6:44pm

      So the "Pampered Prince of Politics" proves once again that he inherited not only his mother's looks but her IQ also. He will never be in the same league as his father.

      Birdy

      Dec 15, 2011 at 6:50pm

      Justin Trudeau is just a fancied-up version of Julian from the Trailer Park Boys.

      You

      Dec 15, 2011 at 11:28pm

      We just pulled out of Kyoto to favour oil companies. How could our minister of the environment not be a piece of shit?
      You might not like Trudeau, but he has a point.

      gideon

      Oct 4, 2012 at 8:14pm

      Absolutely! As are Vic Toews, Rob Anders...the list goes on.
      Way to go, Justin!!!