Broken

I am broken, and broke. My marriage ended. I am so damned lonely I am falling to pieces. I see other couples and I tear up, knowing that that closeness is gone for good. My ex says I will get happy now I am "free" but all I wanted was to be married to her until death do us part. So being middle aged, disabled bald and overweight on top of newly single sucks!!! I have no money, and dread going to the library where all the other older men sit, arguing all day over esoteric nonsense in an attempt to convince themselves they matter. I feel I'd rather never read again than join their ranks. I am overwhelmed with grief and finding anything to brighten my day is a struggle. Plus I have to move, and having my own bedroom for the first time in decades is so depressing I dread May 31. I think of doing nothing, and wait to be evicted but what good would that be? Then I'd be homeless as well as broken. Sometimes the turns life takes are cruel indeed.

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Anonymous

May 14, 2015 at 10:24pm

Not sure what to say as anything may seem shallow and lame, but I sincerely hope things get better for you soon.

Oof

May 15, 2015 at 12:29am

That is rough, man. Sometimes it's hard not to give in to despair. I know how it feels. I, too, have been overwhelmed by loneliness & hopelessness. Do you have family or friends? If not, maybe join a support group? Or at least keep sharing online somewhere? I don't know but I do know that how you are feeling sucks. Hate to resort to platitudes but the breakup will hurt less as time passes. If you can get manage it, try to get outside more while it is still summer. Maybe you will make a friend?

Anonymous

May 15, 2015 at 8:29am

Sorry you are in pain. I do not know what you are experiencing but I have gone through a sudden loss of my partner, home etc. Take each hour, day , week as it comes. Make sure you sleep, exercise and eat well. There is always a reason to get up every day and move forward. Go watch a gorgeous vancouver sunset, have an ice cream, watch a funny movie, make a new friend on the seawall, volunteer. Let others know so they can provide company. Make a list of things you have always wanted to do and do them. Fight through the pain........I promise you there is light on the other side. Life can change very quickly and surprise you. Good things will come I guarantee it. Be strong and weather the storm. Keep moving forward, you can do it :).

@Oof

May 15, 2015 at 9:00am

"Still" summer? I turned the bloody heat on again today. I wasn't aware that it was summer, never mind *still* summer.

Oh Dear

May 15, 2015 at 9:14am

Through the platitudes of life; please don't forget still immense joy and purpose awaits you! Obviously even random strangers on here care deeply for your well-being; because we have also been into the darkness and come out into the light.
So sorry to read of your suffering; you seem to be a kind, gentle, intelligent soul. Speaking as a divorcee myself; the pain can be indescribable, but you can find love again.
From my experience; I found writing daily purpose lists helped to keep me focused and not stay in bed until two in the afternoon. Also once I was resettled, I disappeared for a week on vacation to rejuvenate, then remade connections with family/friends. Remember to do the activities that made you, special you! That seemed to work for me.
Tomorrow is a new day, a new day to find yourself and to create happiness. Cheering for you! Best wishes XO

This is your time

May 15, 2015 at 1:58pm

You need time to grieve of course, but don't do it for so long that you become one of those perpetually self-pitying people.

You can turn your life around and it just takes a few steps a day.

Join a gym (or buy equipment for your home), get hair implants (or get comfortable with your sex machine solar panelling ;), don't worry about being older (plenty of attractive older men who don't look like models), and get some new threads.
Take courses on subjects that interest you.

In a year's time, you can "run into" your ex and she can see how great you're doing and what she's missing out on!

You can do.... once you get through the darkest days.

pungyo

May 15, 2015 at 6:09pm

When your going through hell. remember to keep going, dont stop moving or fighting untill your clear of it.
your not alone. dont give up.I have felt those things & heres what changed my mind.....
this is the story of two frogs. One of them was fat and the other one was skinny. One fine day, when they were looking for food, they jumped into a bucket of milk inadvertently . Now, as the sides were too slippery they were unable to get out. The fat frog spoke to the skinny frog, “Brother, swimming is of no use anymore. We’re going to drown, so we should give up.” The skinny frog looked in awe and replied, “Hold on my friend, keep swimming. Someone will get us out.” And they continued paddling for some time.
After a while, the fat frog said, “Brother, there’s no use. I’m really exhausted now. I’m just going to stop paddling. We’re doomed. There’s no way out of here.” But the skinny frog said, “Keep trying. Keep swimming. Keep paddling.” Another couple of hours passed.
The fat frog said, ” This is nonsense, I can’t go on any longer. We’re going to drown anyway. What’s the use?” And then he gave up, he drowned in the milk. But the skinny frog kept on paddling.
Ten minutes later, the skinny frog felt something solid beneath his feet. He had churned the milk into butter and he jumped out of the bucket.

That's rough

May 15, 2015 at 11:44pm

as someone said in previous comments. .there is light on the other side. I believe in that. I'm going through a rough patch myself. I hope u see that light soon and till then u gather enough strength to make it through each day with a smile. u are not alone my friend.

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