Give it a try. It will be easier to make changes if you get to the root of your fear. I can relate because I do the same kinds of things and am magnetically attracted to others who do it back to me. It really hurts us. You are not alone. Wish I could give you a hug...

I don't think I've ever related to a confession post as much as I do this one. It's like you took the words right out of my mouth. I don't know why I do this either, but I do know it's starting to cause serious damage to my life and it needs to stop. I wish both of us the best of luck in overcoming this.

... By indidually and genuinely apologizing to those you've hurt -- if that is they mean anything to you at all. It is never too late until a person is six feet under.

It sounds like you're doing this for emotional safety. It's easier to see all situations as worse than they are and differentiating between good and bad is becoming difficult, as such you view all as bad. Remaining at a painful distance is familiar to you so you prefer it. Self-blame reinforces the cycle, and so it never stops. I think you're scared of unpredictable outcomes because facing these situations involves consequence sometimes and dealing with emotions that result from it. Perhaps you aren't sure of how you'll react to handling said emotions or doubt your capabilities in doing so? Right now I believe you're content knowing what to expect and see the risk as too painful/scary to take. But that risk is the only real shot you have at true happiness. I'd start by forcing yourself to deal with uncomfortable situations, and go from there, along with a lot of self reflection. You can figure this out! Good luck.

Wat the fax are you faceing just dnt set your self up" I know it sownds hard Butt if you cach your self Before take a fuwe mins befor makeing eney thing in stone just even tell just one of Your friends can help and then share it with anether the running will slow down and thene you can breath you Can do this share with the friends that you Know you Best it will work out do it on a jog buddy silly butt you will finde how much breathing space you rilly got ok Buddy. take care finde that path that Where you started running from and you just myt finde it is reaparebl or esyer to mend thene reabild. Ya")

If you are anything like me, you are probably running from yourself, and are constantly seeking whatever is 'next' in order to avoid facing your fear, pain, and creative potential as a human being. If you try meditation, and find you are scared shitless to sit with yourself for 15 minutes, then it might be something along these lines. I know it sounds cliché but generally our culture is terrified of being present.

Nailed it. - OP

Dear iRun ... acknowledgment is always the first step towards personal transformation so congratulations ... you can now move-up towards a more meaningful and joyous life.

We mortals are weak vessels ... having a pattern or template to help structure our lives is necessary for, like a carpenter or a dress maker, when it comes to reproducing complicated projects (like our life journey) it helps to have a template or pattern. A real-deal compassionate secular counsellor or spiritual tradition is a big plus. For example, if you were in an accident and needed medical care its a no-brainer ... you go to the emergency room. Likewise, in this perilous time on this Earth, we need to go to those who have walked ahead on the road of life and who can now reach back tp those behind them on the road and extend a helping hand.

Whether you choose to use the spiritual terminology 'prayer' or the secular 'positive intention' ... you are in mine

I don't know what it is about this post but I have this odd gut feeling that you like to run/jog as a hobby plugged into your iPod as well as run from all of the above. You live in your own world and probably expect people to do anything for you and all of the sudden you bolt for the hills and hurt someone you you gained the trust of. I'm not judging you but for some reason I get this vibe.

No, I do everything myself. I expect nothing of other people and live very much in this world. Perhaps this post relates to someone that ran from you so you're projecting this onto me? If that's the case, this isn't the confessor you're looking for. -OP