All Gone

I confess I'm out of patience. Again. Flake out and I'll check out, and won't come back. You're shy, coy, uncertain, traditional, confused, "complicated", busy...EVERYBODY'S BUSY, as am I. Make the effort, and I'll make the time. Make it difficult to hang out with you when you're hardly more than a stranger, and it's lights out. Won't see you around. Literally. If I have no option but to notice you (or else seem discourteous), I'll give a superficial greeting and move on. Life's too short to play games. If you're not considerate enough to think about the other person in the interaction, at least enough to explain WHY you're flaky, then you're too self-centered to be worth knowing, and I'm done.

15 Comments

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Natty

Sep 17, 2015 at 5:20pm

I think you're missing some red flags here. If someone isn't making time AND is constantly flaking out, it probably means they don't want to see you (or for that matter tell you that they don't want to see you).
Move along.

OP

Sep 17, 2015 at 7:12pm

@Natty

If by "constantly" you mean "once, maybe twice", then you're exactly right, and that already happens (I drop out). Oddly, the other party is almost always surprised and dismayed, which leads me to believe that too many people like to play games.

There's only so much time and energy, and I don't enjoy "the hunt" or "the challenge". Twice is the limit, and there's yet to be an exception.

9 16Rating: -7

anon

Sep 17, 2015 at 7:33pm

OP can you actually communicate this directly to the intended person it's supposed to reach?

19 9Rating: +10

Well said

Sep 17, 2015 at 8:16pm

You stated perfectly what I've been thinking for a long time. Why keep calling me to hang out if you cancel last minute, every f-ing time? Why do you ask me what I'm up to and to check if I'm free then don't reply when I offer to meet? It is selfish. I didn't make other plans because I chose to clear my calendar for you. How can flakes ever have friends with an attitude like that?

22 9Rating: +13

Ok

Sep 17, 2015 at 9:28pm

I say make them uncomfortable until they say what the really mean instead of being fake.

Morgoth Science Hospital

Sep 17, 2015 at 10:59pm

I could be wrong but I am assuming you are one of my millennial counterparts, aka the worst generation ever. I think its a huge issue though within our generation, lots of them flake out and do not have the decency to explain why or even lie and make an excuse. It is uncivilized and the sign of someone who is basically, a shithead. Anyone who defends flakey scum is also a shithead and likely performs the act of flaking as well.

Natty is most likely a flakey person as it is defending the action and attempting to cast the blame on to you.

8 17Rating: -9

OP

Sep 18, 2015 at 12:11am

@anon

Yes, actually, I was just venting. The person will see little and hear nothing from me starting next week. Only have to switch my schedule to the "avoid" setting. Wave as I pass by, of course (if and when) - don't want to make other people feel uncomfortable. Must maintain appearances in social settings.

If asked about the changes, I will cheerfully explain:
Just business (time is precious), nothing personal (anymore). Grudges are too much work.

OP

Sep 18, 2015 at 2:06am

@Morgoth

I'm older, not of the Millennials, and that behavior has come to bedevil society in general. In 2015, attitude is everything. Courtesy and consideration are passe.

What is rewarded, will be repeated; it's how this sort of thing became the norm. Long past time for some negative reinforcement.

8 15Rating: -7

Natty

Sep 18, 2015 at 7:40am

@Morgoth Science Hospital

Nope, just a realist. I call 'em like I sees em.
Sometimes the truth is a punch in the face but someone's got to say it.

@ OP

Sep 18, 2015 at 8:40am

What about you?

Do you ever communicate your thoughts/feelings on the matter with the other person(s)?

Or do you just rant to strangers online?

The other person might not be intentionally being hard to reach, but might really having shit going on in their lives that you just aren't aware of or haven't bothered to consider.

17 8Rating: +9

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