Vancouver dating scene debate

I moved to Vancouver a year ago. And from the very first month, I started to hear this unanimous complaints about the dating scene here. "Vancouver guys don't approach girls (guys are intimidated by pretty girls)" "Vancouver girls throw bad attitude when approaced" Ridiculous, right. I am genuinely curious. What is going on? I would call bullshit on both claims. Pretty girls DO get approached and if you are getting bad attitude, you are doing it wrong. If you start with "Hey girl, let me get yo number" Of course, you will only get bad attitude and salty looks. So I say these complaints are bullshit. But... Everytime my girlfriends get hit on, it is by guys from out of town or a new comer. I have independent female friends who are beautiful inside and out, stay single for the longest time. Guy friends? They are active only in a bar setting and seems to have bad luck with dating just the same. Maybe I should start a matchmaking company. Vancouver is notorious for being the worst in dating scene, for a reason. After a year, I get it. I saw it. But WHY??? Here seems like the perfect place to post... I want to hear back from all the "I saw you" posters. *I am not talking about relationships, just the first initiation part. **Yes girls can and do approach first. But let's talk about "why aren't you" to guys first.

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EddyEagle

Sep 10, 2015 at 9:22am

this issue I find is only with WASP people and people who date them. All other types in vancouver have no problems dating and getting into relationships and marriage.

Really???

Sep 10, 2015 at 9:26am

A year and you're an expert? please. Talk to the veteran's who have lived here a long time. This goes back to my mom's generation also as she has said the exact same thing everyone says around here.. Any real Vancouverite knows what you wrote is BS...

A year?

Sep 10, 2015 at 9:33am

You are definitely NOT an expert here nor should you start anything. You're dealing with an issue that i guarantee has been around before you were born...

Now taken

Sep 10, 2015 at 9:43am

After 5 years in this city I am finally dating a Vancouver girl, bonus, she's super nice! :)
The 5 years before it was just a hook up culture, lots of mean girls who responded better to the small amount of game I had than the nice, dorky(yet hilarious) guy I actually am. I could get a one night stand on occasion, but when it came time to seeing someone again, most girls tended to be flaky, ain't nobody got time for that!
I agree with you that if you're getting a bad response from approaching a girl, you probably said something stupid, but it often felt like no one was ever good enough for anyone, like everyone was looking for perfection when that's impossible to find. Relationships are about compromise and putting effort in for your partner.
Anyways, before this gets too long/rambly, I would approach a girl if I saw she was looking at me, you know, after I talked myself into it :P It seemed only people dated through social circles though, like if all her friends knew your friends and you both looked good enough together. I really don't know anymore and am glad I don't really have to think about it too much. Dating in Vancouver is definitely tough!
Lots of new comers to the city, lots of actors, people that don't stay that long, lots of different ethnicities, lots of gangsters, and lots of general douches with too much of their daddie's money spending it on girls making them think we all have crazy cash. I dunno, maybe everyone should just lower their standards a bit and stop being so mean, don't overthink it too much!

34 8Rating: +26

Los Romanticos

Sep 10, 2015 at 10:24am

"I moved to Vancouver a year ago."
I respectfully suggest that you might want to spend a little more time
here before offering too many opinions on the romantic travails of
others.
Just try to enjoy the city for the experiences it brings YOU.

Demaryius Thomas

Sep 10, 2015 at 11:05am

a women who ran a matchmaking site across Canada said the biggest problem was Vancouver women's ludicrous demands.
every Vancouver woman demanded that her boyfriend make 200k AND look like Brad Pitt ....
these features exist in only 1% of men
so in Vasncouver its 95% of women chasing 1% of the men , Vancouver men have givin up on talking to Women.

duh

Sep 10, 2015 at 12:07pm

Why? Too many ultra radical so-called feminists who hate men.

geeknomad

Sep 10, 2015 at 12:48pm

Fair enough. I'll call bullshit on this entire post.

[a] Imagine a restaurant where instead of the menu, the waiter rolls out a cart with all the meals available, and you get to choose the one you want. Such restaurants exist, and the prices would make most people laugh.This is how too many women believe the dating scene works. A series of suitors is presented for your sampling pleasure. Wonder why the ladies don't get the one they want? You're liberated now. Go after the good stuff, and please stop whining when the ideal mate does not seek you out and offer himself up. Not just because he doesn't exist, but also because if he did, you would not be his best or only option. THIS IS NO LONGER MOSTLY MEN'S WORK. IF YOU DO NOT TRY FOR WHAT YOU WANT, YOU DO NOT DESERVE TO HAVE SOMETHING WORTHWHILE, ONLY WHAT FORTUNE BRINGS YOU.

[b] Locals who have lived elsewhere will tell you Vancouver is cold. Relationships of any kind (not just romance) are more problematic and harder to come by than in many other places. The prevalent expectation appears to be that any interaction between strangers will result in some combination of the following: [1] sex, [2] matrimony, [3] material gain, [4] someone taking advantage. Thus the aloof, wary attitude. I referred elsewhere to the behavioral sink; this appears to be its human equivalent.

Coincidentally, a cheap, direct flight from YVR will bring you to a large population where this belief is the norm, and the Resting Bitch Face is just called "face" (they don't distinguish). Some friends worked there for a few months. I won't name the place.

The RBF is a very real and widespread thing. There's abundant research on how smiling can actually make one happier and change one's state. Perhaps it works the other way, too, but at some point the RBF definitely becomes the Frigid Bitch Face, and eventually ages into the Frozen Bitch Face (frown not smile lines). White Rock skews older, and I see many women with the Frozen version - the gag about "your face might freeze like that" made flesh. Makes me laugh.

[c] Everything is the men's fault. FAIL. Drag the past into the present, and we're done before we begin. It's a new millennium, the era of Mad Men is long gone, and all males will not do penance for it. Nor should they. You won the gender war, so pop the bubbly and let's move on.

There's more, but I'm out of room. Cheers :)

It’s pretty simple.

Sep 10, 2015 at 12:50pm

Vancouver women have unrealistically high expectations. Simple math says every woman can’t have the “perfect man”. The good thing for guys is that there’s no need to deal with that entitlement complex when you have an infinite amount of foreigners coming through the city. They actually view normal Vancouver guys as a catch.

Every woman?

Sep 10, 2015 at 1:00pm

Wow, I'm a born and bred Vancouver woman and I can't stand Brad Pitt so I really don't want my boyfriend to look like him. I also earn my own money.

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