Boyfriend berated

posted August 22nd, 2017 at 3:43 PM

On the weekend, my friend embarrassingly berated her boyfriend in front of us. Multiple times. He didn't get it- just kept smiling and laughing off her meanness. She is an intense person and hasn't lived a life where she's been relaxed or easy going. Clearly, this guy loves a good time and can give and take a joke- I don't get their connection. I asked her if she saw a future with this guy given the way she was treating him and she said she didn't know. I almost want to reach out to the guy and tell him to cut his losses with her.

7 Comments

Why

Aug 23, 2017 at 12:44pm

You could also cut your losses. Why is this mean person your friend?

?

Aug 23, 2017 at 2:35pm

MYOB.

Well you don't sound like much of a friend at all

Aug 23, 2017 at 5:13pm

it sounds like you care more about the guy than your friend. Maybe you have feelings for him and are trying to break them up, why else would you tell him to break things off behind her back instead of telling her to.

We've all been there

Aug 23, 2017 at 7:32pm

How many of us have been in the exact same situation? It's excruciating! When it's a family member or a close friend in particular. What to do, what to say? Do you risk alienating everyone by speaking out? It's a dilemma for sure. Sometimes I feel that it's up to the individuals involved in the relationship to fend for themselves, but then there's those situations where it's obvious that one person is being abused. However, I also think that in many cases it's what we don't see that actually tells the whole story. Sometimes the person that you assume is the abusive one may actually be the one being abused. In some relationships, one person will appear absolutely wonderful and completely innocent, but in actuality they are abusers or passive aggressive (or both), and the other person is painted as the bad guy simply because they're the ones who are making the most obvious noise. It's a very tough situation for anyone witnessing it.

Tell him!

Aug 24, 2017 at 12:42am

And also tell him to read the "At a loss" confession above.

MYOB

Aug 24, 2017 at 4:13pm

Other people's relationships are always a source of confusion.

Also, it is understood that love is really all that we have in this world, apart from our reputations, income, works, decisions, personalities, material possessions, and thoughts.

On that basis, it seems unwise to interfere. Either you are wrong and your judgement will be offensive, or you are right and the person will come to see that his judgement has hilariously noticeable to all, which is equally difficult to forgive.