Some people make me terrified to get married and have children.

I know someone who has been fucked over and I'm certain has been cheated on in her second marriage. She has several children from two separate fathers. It's obviously devastating. I don't want to be judgmental asshole but this is what happens when people who don't spend enough time educating and getting to know themselves get together. Don't pick shitty partners and don't be a shitty partner. I don't buy into marriage and children anymore because I have seen too many women buy into these situations to just get fucked over financially and emotionally. I would rather be lonely than end up like that.

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Jaded much?

Aug 11, 2017 at 12:16am

This is a silly and stupid way to go through life. "Other people tried and failed, so I won't bother" isn't a good creed to live by.

Scaremongering

Aug 11, 2017 at 12:45am

There are successful marriages and unsuccessful ones. Does it mean that you'd rather grow old and alone than take a chance?

OP has got it right

Aug 11, 2017 at 6:30am

I also know a handful of people that are in this situation and unfortunately a few others on the road to being in it.

I see people having kids because everyone else is and they are now miserable, broke and attached to a "partner" for the rest of their lives that is a pretty crap parent and human being. Why do people put themselves in this situation?

@Jaded much?

Aug 11, 2017 at 12:14pm

Not to excess, but observing other people with similar backgrounds/skillsets failing can provide some evidence that oneself might fail.

I mean, my grandparents were not especially good parents on either side. My parents were not especially good parents. Now, it's possible that I would surpass the previous two generations, but it is more likely that I would at best do somewhere inbetween them. And the level of success my grandparents have raised children that could barely compete in the 1970s climate, to say nothing of today's "global" shitshow.

But as for partner selection, most of the people I know who've selected partners have selected them because they're people they want to continue dating, not because they're people that they can tolerate who they think have the skills to be a parent. It's like they all want to continue the "dating experience" from teenage/college years, just also have children.

Capt. Obvious

Aug 14, 2017 at 11:18am

Marriage and parenting isn't for everyone.

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