Aww crap...

I'm in love with two men. One is stable, handsome, smart, funny, talented, and caters to my every need. One is unstable, smart, funny, talented, tortured and draws me in like a drug with his raw sexual magnetism. I know it seems like such a bs problem when so many others have so much trouble finding someone and I have two... But here I am, tortured. My heart is tearing apart. Poly would be perfect but neither of them are into it. Do I choose safe or exciting? How do I know which to go for? I need to make a choice, and while it seems obvious to go for the stable one, I can't help but wonder what could be with the other. FML.

21 Comments

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Wow

Sep 13, 2017 at 1:52pm

I hope you spare them both a shitty partner and don't choose either one. Trainwreck waiting to happen.

D!ck

Sep 13, 2017 at 2:33pm

If you're that so indecisive about what you want in a man, I sure wouldn't want to be behind you in the lineup at a Tim Horton's. "I'll have a double-double with the TimBits -- no, wait, I'll change that to a meal combo, but without the crispy chicken salad -- actually, hold on...."

20 8Rating: +12

Too many unknowns

Sep 13, 2017 at 2:34pm

there are too many unknowns with this post. It depends on whether unstable dude is unstable because he has deep seated emotional issues or whether he is just young and immature? If it is deep seated emotional issues and he doesn't seem to be working on them or evolving then don't go there. Pain and senseless upset. If he is just young and immature and you are also young and immature then you can be with either guy and reevaluate later. Overall though you'll be more stable if you are with someone who is either stable or committed to personally growing in a stable direction.

13 3Rating: +10

OO

Sep 13, 2017 at 5:30pm

Geez louise FYL

4 4Rating: 0

So they declined your poly offer

Sep 13, 2017 at 5:37pm

and now what, they're both just waiting around for you to pick? If you really loved them and were truly torn up about it I think you would have let them go long ago, but stringing them along sounds like you don't much care for either of them.

18 7Rating: +11

You my friend

Sep 13, 2017 at 5:42pm

Are a twit.

Been there

Sep 13, 2017 at 6:15pm

Uggggh. The decision was made for me, in my case. Just make the choice yourself now, and spare yourself some drama in the long run if you don't.

14 2Rating: +12

Not just in the good times, but also in the bad.

Sep 13, 2017 at 8:01pm

If a zombie apocalypse suddenly broke out, and it was hell on earth, which one would you want watching your back?

16 5Rating: +11

It's your call

Sep 13, 2017 at 9:28pm

This is a problem that's as old as humanity. No one can answer it! I'm always amused at all the down votes which are most likely from people who don't comprehend just what a complete dilemma it is. I personally believe that choosing the "safe" bet is only advisable if you're that kind of person. Someone who can be satisfied with safety and security and won't be tortured by boredom. On the other hand, choosing a person who is completely unstable is also not a great idea. Don't we all just want that person in the middle??? Hence the dilemma. So my best advice would be to step back from both for a bit and use the time to do some serious soul searching to try to get to your own inner gut instinct. Good luck!

20 6Rating: +14

Easy answer

Sep 13, 2017 at 11:20pm

Tell the stable, handsome...guy the problem. Problem solved. You're welcome.

14 6Rating: +8

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