I remember being the only woman in a room of executive-level men on a conference call with a contractor in Ottawa. I was the person implementing the project but not the project lead. At one point, I took advantage of a lull in the conversation to give the contractor (also a man) some direction on the technical parameters of the project – information that was directly related to his responsibilities as the web developer for the project. After I had finished speaking, there was a moment of silence, then the project lead and the other men in the room began to laugh and joke around, mocking me and the value of the information that I had provided to the contractor, like it was obvious or implied (it wasn't – the contractor had previously sent an email to me asking for exactly this kind of information). I sat there in shock, wondering why they were laughing and snickering. At me. For participating. In hindsight, I wish I'd walked out there and then but I was more perplexed than angry. It didn't occur to me until later that they were laughing at me for having the temerity to speak up in the first place. In a meeting I had been invited to. About a project I was working on. Even when it doesn't make rational sense, belittling women for speaking out, for participating, is always a popular choice. I think it stems from the draconian way that young boys are frequently socialized in our society. From my own observations on the school yard, if a young boy doesn't conform to the norms of masculinity – as outlined in the "Man Code" – his peers will beat the crap out of him (repeatedly), accuse him of being "fag" or a "girl", ostracize and shun him for an extended period of time (like the rest of elementary school). By questioning the "Man Code", the boy identifies himself as a potential victim. Basically, it's the "Bros before Hoes" ideology. It's also the root of macho, sexist, abusive behaviour that spawns a vicious cycle of violence, abuse, harassment, and misery for both men and women. We all need to actively and publicly call out the "Man Code" for what it is – social programming meant to continue the ongoing oppression of half the population so that they'll be too afraid (and busy defending themselves) to question why there isn't affordable day care, why they earn less than men for the same work, why they're passed over for promotion or career advancement, why they're financially punished for having children, why they face financial and social benefit disparity if they choose not to marry, why they can't get a car loan or a mortgage without a male signatory, why most of the government policy makers and corporate leaders are white men, and why they're afraid to walk the streets at night... The list goes on. I know not everyone is going to agree with my opinions and please don't think that I put the blame for this situation squarely on the shoulders of men because I don't; we are ALL in some way culpable for allowing our schools, our government, and our popular culture to create and dictate our "normal" when it comes to gender-based behaviours. Recognizing the damage that these outdated gender norms do to everyone in our community, regardless of gender (or gender identity) is an important first step to making our community more inclusive and welcoming. And more financially robust, too. But that's a different confession!