Why Is This So Hard?

I am on several dating sites and guys ask me out after we talk for a bit. Then they disappear. Or don't show up for the date. It is so humiliating to be waiting at a restaurant and have nobody come with no text message or anything. The Hostess has this look of pity. One time a guy came to a date with a white t-shirt with numerous stains on it and of course forgot his wallet. Another time the guy was 20 years older than his picture. He had hair in the picture but its all gone now. I just want a decent guy with a good job who isn't crazy. I am beginning to think this will never happen.


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"Good Job"

Nov 8, 2017 at 11:08pm

I was with you all the way until you mentioned that. Why did you have to go there? Every time there is a confession like this, it mentions a man's income as a requirement.
Does anyone notice that when men write confessions lamenting their lack of success in dating in Vancouver, they never mention how much money the other person makes? We don't give a damn about how you make your living. Just look presentable (you know, shower, comb your hair) and be a fun person to spend time with.
That's all.
I think I'd have a lot more sympathy for people like the OP, if they stopped evaluating the worth of other human beings by what their jobs are.

I understand

Nov 8, 2017 at 11:35pm

Honestly, I've been on so many dating sites. I've rarely met anyone that I genuinely connected with. It's like.. flirting in the beginning but deep down you know it would never work. I'm in love with the idea of love so I lower my standards. I just want a human body to cuddle sometimes. I know it sounds mean but when you're lonely you just want human contact. My advice to you is to realize that these guys(not all of them, they don't all have bad intentions) only have one thing on their mind when they see you online. They automatically think you're desperate and just wanna get their dick wet. Sorry to sound crude but it's mostly true. As I said, not all guys but.. the majority. When guys treat me like shit I get this hardcore motivation to work on myself. Might sound kind of bitter and ignorant but after I forget about them I start working on myself. I have a habit of going in binges trying to find a guy to be with. I always end up disappointed. When I stop looking and do something that makes me happy like painting or people watching.. listening to music and absorbing the world around me.. people come in to my life out of nowhere. I feel like when you're looking it's jinxed. Just go about your life dude. Don't people please just to get a companion. You're worth more and deserve the best. Wake up and look in the mirror. Tell yourself you're worth it. Shatter your self image because you're not an open book. People you don't know don't see your insecurities. You're an enigma, everyone is unique. Never doubt yourself. You're beautiful you have the world in the palm of your hand. Best wishes to you. Sincerely, someone who's gone through the same.

20 7Rating: +13

Are you....

Nov 9, 2017 at 3:02pm

a member of the 'Me Too' movement ?


Nov 9, 2017 at 6:43pm

Don't go to a restaurant on a first date. Maybe just take a walk or coffee so no risk of being humiliated when someone doesn't show up or can't pay. Also, if you don't feel it, you can just excuse yourself instead of having to sit through a meal.

21 5Rating: +16

Just a man

Nov 10, 2017 at 12:53pm

OP, can you elaborate on what a "good job" is ? What's the starting point, 100k/year ?

13 7Rating: +6


Nov 10, 2017 at 8:36pm

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuck all you losers who get so triggered at the mention of a "good job."

No, it's not 100K+ and up, it's anything that makes it so you can afford to pay for your own existence. you know, to MAKE A LIVING. To not be a drain on society. To not leech off others. Does that clear it up? Do you still have a problem with it?

@OP don't you let these goofs make you feel like wanting a partner with a good job, assuming you also have one, is too much to ask. Not for a second. It's not. It the bare minimum. And yeah, skip the restaurants on the first date. <3

5 6Rating: -1

@Just a loser

Nov 10, 2017 at 8:37pm

why don't you elaborate on what you think it is? is it an underemployed line cook by chance?

6 4Rating: +2

Delicate snowflakes

Nov 12, 2017 at 7:21am

Jumping on her regarding the "good job" comment?! From the tone of the post, she might have just meant "a job/earning income/stability"? Possibly?!? I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt instead of immediately assuming she's shallow. People are too sensitive.

8 4Rating: +4

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