I cheated-ish. we arent in a relationship, just hanging out for years, I was interested in another person, I feel like I'm missing the boat on potential actual relationships, and Im in part resentful byt their reactions towards my mental health issues. and I hooked up with someone else. I felt guilty the whole time, I felt super guilty after. i hate that I'm like this and I don't know why I'm like this. everyone else is cheating or using some form of justification for lies. I can't beat this monogmous uilt. i don't even think monogomy is that natural. It's not that either of these people care about me that much or that Im hurting someone (normally that would be my reason for not cheating, I dont want to hurt them) but they hurt me and I think they lie to me comfortably, and knowing all this, I can't be chill on a hook up, I just felt so guilty after that this will never happen again, this stupid non relationship I'm in is over too, ugh I just wanna spend the rest of myl ife alone, or at least completely undedicated to another