Stuck

Is it so bad that I am no longer in love with the man that has loved me, supported me for the past year of our relationship? He is so thoughtful, kind and caring but so many factors have made it increasingly hard to overlook. He is twenty years my senior, was previously married and has two kids. My friends and family are not the most supportive. I feel the pressures of being this much younger than him more than ever before. I wonder if I am being an ungrateful brat for not wanting to keep going with him. He taught me so much about relationships and self-love. But I know we won't walk this path of life together for long. There is too much uncertainty from both of us.

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Doobdoo

Feb 18, 2018 at 6:51pm

Talk to him. Be nice, but also be straight up. That's the last respect you can have for someone you shared love with. He may already have sensed your distance and probably worried as fuck at night.

If it's something you both can work on, good. If it's something you both need time, not bad either. Just talk, sometimes things gotta end to move on. Rather it'd be the relationship itself or an unknown misunderstanding. Good luck.

7 3Rating: +4

Probably didn't love him

Feb 18, 2018 at 9:33pm

I doubt you were ever really in love with him. It's more likely you've been dealing with daddy issues. It's quite common for women too seek out older men, if they see their own father's as being absent, or weak, or even if a woman has some unresolved incestuous desire for her father, she can seek out an older guy as a way of fulfilling her fantasy.

7 8Rating: -1

That’s life

Feb 19, 2018 at 1:18am

When people say that age makes no difference in relationships I think they’re kidding themselves. Sure there are some relationships with big age gaps that work out but most of them don’t, for obvious reasons. Look at is as a good experience but don’t feel guilty for needing to move on. You’re at completely different stages in life and what you’re feeling is normal. It happens in relationships without huge age differences too, so try not to feel too bad about it.

16 3Rating: +13

Hi OP

Feb 19, 2018 at 9:30am

With respect, you sound fucking awful. This loving, supportive man will be better off without the likes of you.

Leonardo

Feb 19, 2018 at 10:32am

He'll find another hotter girlfriend so don't worry about it.

12 8Rating: +4

Anonymous

Feb 19, 2018 at 11:07am

You foolish woman. Why did you marry a guy 20 year your senior? If it was family pressure then walk out right now, or you'll end up resenting that wonderful man and possibly your kids if you have any. The dating scene is rubbish so best of luck if you're planning to date and as for arranged, you will most likely not meet a patient, kind and loving partner like the one you currently have, so heads up on that front.

7 10Rating: -3

Why Yes !

Feb 19, 2018 at 3:37pm

You are an ungrateful brat.

3 6Rating: -3

naw

Feb 20, 2018 at 8:41am

The thing about getting other, aside from being closer to death, is wisdom that comes from experience, and by experience, I mean bad shit.

Go ahead and leave him. He'll understand. He understands right now, actually.

He had a little while of having the younger chick with no kids. You were fun and you introduced him to newer music and you probably inspired him to watch what he ate and how he groomed. So, you have helped him out in a way that the middle-aged guys appreciate.

But it is time for you to move along. He needs to spend his time having a good relationship with his adult children and godhelpus the grandchildren, and you don't want your lover to be wearing adult diapers, you want to be free to express yourself - your vague ambitions, your conflicted concern for the world, making sense of the intersectionality of the wonder that is you - and you need to do those things outside of the stultifying comfort of your dead relationship.

8 2Rating: +6

Anonymous

Feb 20, 2018 at 11:25am

Is it really that the seemingly perfect person for you isn't the person you fall in love with? Some of you are going off about how she's ungrateful or a POS for not loving the man but it doesn't sound like she wants to feel that way.

She feels guilty that she isn't in love with him anymore. She is guilty that life got in the way of being in love. She committed to the relationship, to him, for a whole year.

We don't get to pick the person we fall in love with, so why is she getting picked on for being able to stay in love with him? She doesnt sound ungrateful, she sounds like she feels bad because she knows he is a great man.

Are some of you saying that you haven't left some good partners in your path due to not being in love with them even though they are fucking amazing?

Some of you sound like you settled for companionship, not fall in love.

6 3Rating: +3

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