I'm in such a quandary

since my company moved me from a nice, quiet solo office and now I'm sharing an office with a passive aggressive, depressed, angry head case. She is just so unpleasant to be around I find excuses to leave the room. I've worked at my job (which I like) for over 10 years and I'm only 5 years from retirement but man, this person is a type of "toxic" I've never experienced before. Yes, I have tried to be friendly, witty, invite her for coffee, etc but no go. Any suggestions?

13 Comments

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Anonymous

Mar 8, 2018 at 5:12pm

Be yourself!

You owe this fool nothing.

It's only a freaking job.

9 8Rating: +1

@ Anonymous

Mar 8, 2018 at 5:50pm

I'm completely the opposite. 8 hours a day spent with toxic people can be bad for your health.

19 4Rating: +15

Same Boat

Mar 8, 2018 at 6:22pm

Noise-cancelling headphones come to mind. If that's not a possibility, just be cordial and don't engage. You've done what you can to be nice.

15 3Rating: +12

Say something

Mar 8, 2018 at 6:22pm

Unfortunately, as difficult as this type of situation can be, I think the only way to deal with it is to try to have a quiet conversation with her about it. Maybe tell her that you need to talk to her privately about something difficult, and ask if she’d like to do that in the office or somewhere else. Tell her that you are finding it difficult to focus on work due to her behaviour. Be open. It’s quite possible that she has issues with you as well. Be prepared to hear that. Try not to be judgemental. Ask her if she has any suggestions about ways that the two of you can find a way to work in the same place so that both of you can function effectively. This is a delicate situation and fraught with land mines, so tread carefully, and good luck!

10 5Rating: +5

Complain to management

Mar 8, 2018 at 6:51pm

Maybe they’ll move you, considering you’ve put your time in and your so close (yet far enough away to drive you mad) to the end of your working career.

9 6Rating: +3

Headphones are your friend

Mar 8, 2018 at 6:57pm

If you’re able to do your job and wear headphones, do it. Is she asks why, tell her it helps you concentrate.

If you can’t wear headphones... ignore her anyway. Don’t leave the room too often, stand your ground. It’s your space now too. (Plus she could turn that on you and start telling ppl that you’re never at your desk/never working. Wouldn’t put it past someone like that.)

Be polite/kind if she speaks to you, but otherwise, don’t try to indulge her or build any kind of friendship. You could open yourself up to even more toxicity and drama, and you definitely don’t want that. People like that thrive on having an audience.

15 5Rating: +10

Headphones are your friend

Mar 8, 2018 at 7:35pm

If you’re able to do your job and wear headphones, do it. Is she asks why, tell her it helps you concentrate.

If you can’t wear headphones... ignore her anyway. Don’t leave the room too often, stand your ground. It’s your space now too. (Plus she could turn that on you and start telling ppl that you’re never at your desk/never working. Wouldn’t put it past someone like that.)

Be polite/kind if she speaks to you, but otherwise, don’t try to indulge her or build any kind of friendship. You could open yourself up to even more toxicity and drama, and you definitely don’t want that. People like that thrive on having an audience.

9 3Rating: +6

Easy,Just Do

Mar 8, 2018 at 8:07pm

What women have been doing for decades to men they don't like for some reason-make up some phony sexual harassment claims and get her fired.

9 20Rating: -11

be honest

Mar 9, 2018 at 6:54am

call her on her crap and tell her to stop talking to you

5 5Rating: 0

Soz

Mar 9, 2018 at 9:19am

That's rough, and can lead to worse. I would take it up with HR. Tell them it is impacting your productivity and ask to have one of you moved.

9 4Rating: +5

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