It suddenly dawned on me that something was not quite right, while you were out running free and flying helicopters I...i was in the basement, cold and with opaque windows, every week they gathered us together to sit in a circle around an owl perched on a mushroom, and we sang...how we sang. And I would look around at my sisters, some with lids closed in their exertions, and think: is this all there is? Is there nothing more? I learned to tie a strong square knot and I got the heck out.