My life isn't as bad, but I still concentrate on the bad. Maybe it's possible to concentrate on the good, regardless of if the bad is lots of little in your life. You are doing great!

Why the down-votes? That's a confession. No one wants to reminded that their trivial issues are pretty trivial? Jeez, man hang in there.

... is a made up illness. If you've been an alcoholic drug addict since 13, you haven't been eating well, almost guaranteed. You need to read the IOM's tables and get 100% of the RDA for vitamins, minerals, essential fatty acids (very important, psych inpatients are often deficient in omega fats) and I would say 0.8g protein/lb.

You should also lift weights.

You can fix yourself, but you need to try different things, like nutrition and exercise. Don't get sucked into the Witch Doctor cult that labels people, feeds them synthetic, neurotransmitter-disrupting petrochemicals.

It's not about what you do, or about what you did. It's about what you believe. Right believing will have the inevitable result of right living. You may want to double check your perception of your higher power. It maybe slightly out of alignment. How you do that, is to ask Him the what's and where's in your belief surrounding of/in Him is not quite right. Don't condemn yourself. He didn't come into your life so that you would do that. He wants your joy to be full.

This disorder causes people to do things that they normally would never do and you likely spent your whole life self-medicating due to your illness.

To be diagnosed with something that is still widely stigmatized must be devastating. Schizophrenia can be hell on earth but it is treatable. It's in my family and treatment has helped.

Dude, you should really shut up about stuff you know nothing about. There are disorders which require medication. My uncle was an avid runner and weight lifter who also had schizophrenia. At one point he was feeling better so he decided to quit taking his meds and ended up shooting himself in the face.

I'd love it if one of these delusional culty types that don't believe that mental illnesses are real to spend an afternoon with a mental illness. They'd shut their mouths real quick when they felt like throwing themselves in front of a car.

Everyone feels like that sometimes, that's just the human condition. Some people don't want to be human, they want to be these fictional characters that don't exist, except under pharmacotherapy.