I had extremely vivid nightmares that someone I cared about, and felt responsible for, had lost their own life over drug use. I had these for four months, and when I woke up, they were just fine, and they tried to show me they were fine. I never wanted that story so I tried re-writing my trauma into a story of love and friendship. Escapism. Twas a disaster, and I kept thinking my own salvation from the experience was to physically see them, like it would heal me. But lying has only let me to regret and confusion, and I could never be straight up with what I wanted or thought I needed from them. Turns out I just needed to realign fact and fiction and snap out of my nightmares being just that, and get help.